


The Brightest Shade of Green

by clefairytea



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Gay Disaster Teens Are Bad At Feelings, Internalized Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:58:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9105730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clefairytea/pseuds/clefairytea
Summary: It didn’t have to mean that she and Yukiko were…like that, what they did. Not necessarily.Maybe the fumes in Kanji’s bathhouse had just gotten to them, spending so many hours in there fighting and sweating. They’d been tired, and sore, and Chie had eaten too much at Aiya, and hadn’t wanted to walk home after she dropped Yukiko off at the inn, and when they’d gotten under the covers together, maybe all those factors had just come together and gotten a little messy and –Chie stands up and busies herself trying to find her jacket and her socks. Maybe it had been nothing but them both being tired and addled from spending too long in the TV.When Yukiko comes out of the shower, Chie thinks, they’ll talk about it.--After saving Kanji from the TV, Chie and Yukiko’s relationship goes in a significantly different direction than either of them expected. Turns out that just facing your Shadow isn’t enough to resolve all your issues – the rest have to be unpacked, one by one, piece by piece.





	1. June

**Author's Note:**

> Alternatively titled "That time Chie and Yukiko made out and then made it into the biggest deal ever for over half a year"
> 
> This is basically a really, really long oneshot, but I've split it into chapters for easy reading. It might flow a little better if you set to read it as a complete work though, so I'd recommend reading it that way!
> 
> Content warnings for the entire story: homophobia, both internalised and otherwise, discussions of sexual assault (though no more than what's implied by the game itself), referenced gender dysphoria, messy teen feelings, and Yosuke's horrible texting.

**June 5th**

Yukiko is already awake and out of bed when Chie wakes up, reaching across the empty bed. Letting her arm fall to the mattress, she sighs and shifts, her skirt bundled at her waist, her thin shirt sticky with sweat and her hair sticking to her cheeks and forehead. Turning to her side, she grabs her phone, checks the time – 09:38am. There’s a text from Souji, attempting to organise a trip to the TV that afternoon, one from her Mom, asking what time she’d come back from the Amagis’, and one from Yosuke, asking where she and Yukiko disappeared to last night.

She lets the phone drop back to the tatami with a soft thump, and turns away, groaning, pressing her palm to her head.

She had woken up in Yukiko’s bed a lot over the years, her nose buried in Yukiko’s long hair, or with an arm thrown haphazardly over her waist, but –

This was different, she thinks, staring up at the ceiling.

The pipes gurgle, and Chie hears the rush of water from the bathroom, steam billowing from the bottom of the door.

Yukiko’s having a shower. Chie feels hot all of a sudden.

That’s a normal thing, Chie reminds herself. That’s a perfectly normal thing that humans do, that all people do. Yukiko has taken showers with Chie in the next room before. Hell, they’ve spent plenty of time in the hot springs together.

Thing was, was she supposed to…she didn’t know, go _join_ her, now? Was that a thing that was expected, now that they…

That they what? Were dating? Was that what had happened last night? Did they start dating?

Was that possible? Was that _allowed?_

Chie throws the covers off herself and sits up, cross-legged, grasping her phone with both hands.  
__  
From: Yosuke Hanamura  
whr did u n yukiko go????  
left me n partner by rselves  
r00d

She rolls her eyes; Yukiko may think Chie’s texting is bad, but she’s never had to deal with Yosuke before. Ignoring the little voice inside her that said that Yosuke, somehow, just _knew_ , she texts back.

_Yukiko was tired! I took her home. U seemd fine when we left :\_

_u 8 FIVE beef bwlz n left us to pay 4 dem!!!!!!_

Chie breathes out. Right. Right. He’s just pissy because they left Aiya without paying their half of the bill.

_…They’re free when u finish them tho rite???_

_ONLY WEN ITZ RAINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Sry. :\ U usually LUV the chance 2 b alone with leader._

A low blow, but it just might shut him up. He doesn’t text back immediately. Critical hit, Chie thinks.

She shuts her phone with a _clack_ , ignoring Souji’s politely worded requests to meet at Junes to check the TV. They got Kanji out yesterday, after all. She knows Souji likes to go back in afterwards to check they hadn’t missed anything crucial, but going in the next day after such a long, hard fight was just brutal. Her legs are _killing_ her.

Besides that. She…well.

She feels like she may need to have a long conversation with Yukiko.

Chie sighs, lying back down on the bed, her arm over her eyes to block out the sun.

It didn’t have to mean that she and Yukiko were…like that, what they did. Not necessarily.

Maybe the fumes in Kanji’s bathhouse had just gotten to them, spending so many hours in there fighting and sweating. They’d been tired, and sore, and Chie had eaten too much at Aiya, and hadn’t wanted to walk home after she dropped Yukiko off at the inn, and when they’d gotten under the covers together, maybe all those factors had just come together and gotten a little messy and –

Chie stands up and busies herself trying to find her jacket and her socks. Maybe it had been nothing but them both being tired and addled from spending too long in the TV.

When Yukiko comes out of the shower, Chie thinks, they’ll talk about it.

Maybe do more than _talk_ , a little voice in her head says.

The door to the bathroom slides open, and Yukiko emerges with her hair pulled into a wet bun on top of her head, a bright red towel wrapped around her midsection. There’s a bruise forming on the curve of her neck.

She looks great, Chie thinks stupidly, which is unfair. She just woke up, she’s not wearing any make-up, just wearing a stupid towel, and she looks great.

Chie glances at herself in the mirror against the wall, and tries to smooth down the tangle of her hair, sudden aware of the dark of her roots showing at the scalp.

Yukiko moves across to the other side of the room, behind a screen, and begins getting dressed, not looking at Chie at all. Chie presses her mouth into a thin line as Yukiko slips into her juban, tying it at the waist, and begins the complicated matter of getting into her kimono.

Chie shouldn’t stare. Even if all she can see is the top of Yukiko’s head over the screen, occasionally a slender hand reaching up as she tugs on her sleeves.

She steps out from behind the screen, her kimono as neat as it would be if one of the inn staff helped her put it on.

Chie always needs to ask her Mom for help if she wants to look that good. And she always feels like she’s waddling around in the skirt a little, not drifting around as gracefully as Yukiko does.

She swallows.

“Yukiko –“

“Oh, Souji-kun wants to go into the TV again today,” she says, looking at her phone and still avoiding Chie’s eye. The bruise on her neck keeps drawing Chie’s gaze. Yukiko frowns at her phone.

“…Do we really need to go again today? Yosuke-kun got Kanji-kun home safe and sound,” she says, “And I’m going to be really busy…”

“Busy?” Chie says, and the word comes out hoarse. She doesn’t know what she’s supposed to be doing. She doesn’t know why Yukiko won’t look at her. What she wants is for Yukiko to be slipping back under the covers with her, holding her hand like she did last night.

“I…have to have lunch with my parents and some friends of theirs today,” she says, “They’ve been making a big deal of it for a while, so they probably want to discuss how the conversation will go first. I’ve already slept in.”

“How the conversation will go…?”

“They’re family friends. Misato and Junichi Harada. They have a son – Junta-san. He’s seventeen,” she says, very quickly, “Kasai-san has been working hard to organise this…”

“Wait, wait, what? Junta-san? The Haradas? Yukiko…this, this sounds like –“ Chie splutters, “You’re too young for that kind of thing!”

Not that Chie _knows_ a lot about that kind of…thing. Her family aren’t very traditional – they’d never even consider _miai_ as an option for her, even if Chie had become an old spinster.

Although, a sneering voice whispers in her head, that may just be because Chie isn’t _exactly_ any guy’s idea of a good marriage candidate.

“I’m sure nothing will come of it!” Yukiko says, too cheerfully, and one hand resting on the bruise on her neck , “I just…I need to be presentable. The Haradas have been loyal customers and incredible business partners over the years. It won’t reflect well on the inn if I – if I don’t at least make an effort.”

Chie stares, her fingers clenched into tight fists in her lap.

“I’m already going to hurt them enough by leaving. I can’t hurt them more than that,” Yukiko mutters, and then looks at Chie, smiling, “I’m sorry, Chie. Can you make your own way home?” she says, “You can borrow some clean clothes, if you like.”

Ha. As though any of Yukiko’s tiny clothes would fit her.

“Oh, haha, that’s okay!” Chie says, finding her socks and tugging them up her legs, “I’ll jog home – it’s a good chance for an extra work-out.”

Yukiko turns and smiles at her, and for a second Chie thinks she’s going to lean over and kiss her again.

She stoops, and begins making her bed, tidying up non-existent clutter, looking everywhere but at Chie.

“Alright, um,” Chie says, heading to the door, “Well. Bye.”

 

**June 16th**

It’s not that she and Yukiko have been _avoiding_ each other exactly. It’s not like that at all. They still spend a lot of time together, studying together in Chie’s room, walking around the Shopping District after school, exercising in the TV with the boys, helping Kanji learn the ropes of Shadow fighting. Yukiko still laughs like a crazy hyena at things Chie can never predict, and Chie will still charge into battle at the sight of some guy hassling Yukiko for things she doesn’t want to give.

Admittedly, she does the latter a little…more aggressively than is probably necessary lately.

So, they haven’t been avoiding each other. But they have been avoiding certain topics.

They haven’t talked about her meeting with the Haradas, for one. They haven’t talked about the bruise Yukiko covered up with a scarf for a week, even in the height of summer. They haven’t talked about the weird way the air between them seems charged now, tense, the way even Yosuke seems to be looking at them a little oddly, Kanji occasionally blinking at them at glancing at Souji for assistance.

They haven’t been talking about what happened the night of June 4th.

And it’s driving Chie crazy. What if Yukiko isn’t even thinking about it? Because _she_ is! She’s thinking about it _all the time_.

“Chie?”

“Huh?”

“Is there anything else we need for the curry?” Yukiko asks her, holding the shopping basket daintily out to her.

“Oh, er, I don’t know? Maybe. Chocolate, or – or coffee…” she says. She doesn’t care about the curry. If Yosuke wasn’t dead-set on having homemade curry, for some reason, she’d suggest just getting a box mix and some rice and calling it a day.

“Chocolate or coffee?” Yukiko asks, pursing her lips and tilting her head, a strand of hair falling in front of her face. Chie wants to push it behind her ear. She stays her hand.

“Y-yeah! I mean, I think I saw that on a cooking show once?” she says, and turns to look at Souji, quietly watching them, “You’ve heard of that, right?”

There’s something about Souji’s tense expression that tells her, no, he has never heard of anything like that in his life.

“I’m not sure…” Souji says, and then gently yet firmly takes the shopping basket from Yukiko’s hands, “You know what? How about I handle this and you two do dessert.”

“Oh! Yeah, haha, sure!” she says, smiling, “Can you cook?”

“A little,” Souji mumbles, head tucking into his collar, his cheeks going faintly pink  as he returns half of the things Yukiko picked out and then grabs some different items off the shelf.

It can’t possibly be the case, what with him being the most popular guy in Inaba and their confident and fearless leader, but sometimes she swears that Souji is actually a little shy.

“Oh…yes, that’s fine,” Yukiko says, looking quite downtrodden.

“C-come on Yukiko, the dessert is the best part of the meal! Let’s go shop around for some inspiration,” she says, and reaches to take Yukiko’s hand.

Yukiko jumps, snatching her hand away as though Chie had something horribly contagious.

At the expression on Chie’s face, she rearranges her expression and shoots her that bland smile she usually reserves for guests at the inn. Souji looks over his shoulder at them, one eyebrow quirking.

“Yes, yes, let’s…how about we bake eclairs?” Yukiko says, showing too many teeth with her smile, “That should be easy enough, right?”

“I like smores,” Souji says quietly, sounding a little desperate for some reason.

“Oooh, very American, very exotic!” Chie says, and she knows she’s being weirdly loud and way-too-cheerful. Yukiko smiles back, and they talk as they head towards the sweets section.

She doesn’t try to take Yukiko’s hand again, but the urge to do so feels stronger than ever.

 

**June 17th**

It’s widely agreed that Souji’s curry is, by far, the best curry any of them have ever tasted.

Yosuke really can’t sing its praises enough, despite Souji looking vaguely as though he wants to hide in his tracksuit at the flattery.

It’s kind of sweet, Chie thinks, if annoying.

It is also widely agreed that the Amagi-Satonaka mint-chocolate-cinnamon-miso-steak-smores are an absolute blight upon the culinary arts and should never, ever be repeated.

 

“I don’t get where we went wrong. I mean, we used all the best ingredients! How could it possibly turn out bad?”

“I don’t know, maybe the steak was a little much…” Yukiko says softly to her, barely audibly over the noise of Hanako snoring. Chie pauses her pacing, looking across at her.

“Huh? No way, steak is _always_ great. It was the miso. For sure,” Chie says, turning to look at her.

“But I love miso! We always use it at the inn,” Yukiko replies, looking horribly offended. Chie has to smile at her expression, and sits down next to her.

“Ha, maybe next time we use a recipe?” she says, scratching the back of her neck.

“…The cooks at the inn never use a recipe,” Yukiko says, a touch sulky.

“Well they’re professionals! They don’t have to. We’re just starting out,” she says, “Maybe Souji-kun can point us to a few blogs. He seems like the type.”

Yukiko perks up at that, looking at Chie with a smile that makes warmth spread to the tips of her finger and toes.

“It’s a little unexpected, but he does, doesn’t he? He’s a very unusual person,” she says.

“Yeah, the grey bowlcut is kind of the least of it, right?” she says, grinning, and the joke hits the mark, Yukiko lapses into a high-pitched giggling fit, her hands over her mouth.

As much as she complains about Yukiko’s gigglesplosions, she loves it when she manages to trigger one intentionally. And there’s a little part of her…

Well. A part of her that really hates she’s started doing it in front of the boys now, too. She always thought that side of Yukiko was just for her. Something Chie could fold up and keep to herself, jealously.

_I’ll never loosen my grip on her…_

Tomoe shudders in her mind, and Chie sits up as though a bolt of lightning spat up her spine. Yukiko looks across at her, wide-eyed.

“Chie, are you okay?”

“Yeah…” she says, trailing off, and then swallows, reaching forward with a shaking hand to rest her hand on Yukiko’s. She swallows. It feels like there’s so much inside her, pulsing and desperately trying to be free. She should talk to Yukiko about it. She should say _something._

“Yukiko, I –“

And then a huge, angry man barges into their tent, they both scream, and Chie kicks Kanji Tatsumi in the face.


	2. July

**July 1st**

The Marukyu Striptease gives Chie a headache. She’s not sure if it’s the pounding bass, or the bright lights, or the eye-searing pink, but it’s even worse than the bathhouse. Kanji’s may have been horribly hot, constantly fogging up her glasses and making the back of her shirt stick to her, but at least she’d been able to _think_.

And, lately, Teddie’s support has been a little…

Well. It had been better inside the bathhouse. Chie feels as though the little bear is maybe a bit…

She isn’t sure. This kind of feelings-y stuff isn’t her forte. That’s the kind of thing Souji, quiet yet dependable Souji, excels in.

She brings her foot down on another Shadow’s head, blowing it to smithereens. As she backs up, she glances across the battlefield at Souji. He’s confident, almost cocky, in here. He stands up straighter in the TV than he does outside of it, smirks and dodges and swings his sword like he’s spent his entire life fighting Shadows.

Outside the TV, he mumbles a lot. He spaces out. He spends a lot of time looking at pictures of cats on his phone. She’s seen him eat things that no human being should even be capable of eating.

But he’s dependable. His advice is always carefully considered and wise, always packed with stuff Chie had never thought about. He notices things – always first to talk to Chie if she looks down, or offer Yosuke a packed lunch when he’s looking particularly on-edge.

Chie kicks another Shadow, casting a Bufu at one charging towards Kanji.

He’s cautious and slow to act, but he’s smart, and he’s kind. He’s a good strategist, careful to place them in battle exactly where they could best excel, always the first to call a retreat if things were becoming dire. And he’s so good at talking to people, so good at helping people with their problems and helping them sort out their feelings.

She breathes out and dodges another attack, swerving to smack her heel through a giant beetle’s thick carapace. She jumps away, moving further from the group, but that’s fine.

He’s so different from her. All she ever does is charge ahead with all guns blazing. Yet she can’t even ask Yukiko what they are, or why she jumps if Chie brushes too close, or tell her that Chie wants so _badly_ to be closer – or –

“Chie-chan, watch out!” Teddie cries in her ear.

Chie feels a sharp pain in her back, and stumbles to the floor. Fighting through the pain wracking her whole body, she turns, and sees the huge figure of an armoured knight on a horse above her.

_A prince on a steed…_

She scrambles to her feet as the knight pulls back its lance, preparing to strike. From far away, she can hear her friends crying out her name, sees Souji and Yosuke abandoning the hand-shaped Shadow they were fighting to rush towards her.

No. No. They weren’t rescuing her again.

Chie jumps, intending to strike the knight in the stupid face with a high kick.

The knight strikes her with the lance, sending her flying across the room. She smashes into the wall and falls to the floor. She whips out her arm, trying to catch herself, but her whole weight comes down on it and she hears something cracks. She screams out, dropping to her side, tears springing to her eyes. The knight doesn’t relent, and drifts towards her, body crackling with energy, and brings down its lance on her again. Chie screams. She tries to move, but her whole body revolts. Her legs feels bent, her arm in agony.

“Agilao!” Yukiko cries. There is a flash of light, and the knight is engulfed in flame. Just barely managing to look up, Chie sees the blurry figures of Yosuke and Souji jumping in to protect her, Yosuke sending the knight blowing towards Kanji with a Garula.

Yukiko stoops beside her, hands hovering over her body, Konohaku Sakura floating above her, huge and ethereal.

“Chie! Chie!” she says, “Oh, oh God. Will Dia will be enough…”

Chie feels the warmth of Yukiko’s healing magic flow through her in a thick wave, a sensation that has always felt like sinking into the Amagi Inn hot springs on a cold day.

Yet her leg and arm still won’t cooperate. The pain is enormous.

“Yukiko –“ she begins, hoarsely.

“Yukiko-san, leave her, I’ll heal!” Yosuke shouts, rushing in beside her, and Chie irrationally wants to snap at Yosuke to _go away_.

“But –“

“I’m more disposable in a fight than you, Yukiko-san! You help Kanji and partner!” Yosuke snaps. She sees Yukiko’s ankles remain still for a moment, and then she dashes away to help the boys. Yosuke drops to his knees beside him, his scrawny chest going up and down, as he casts Dia on her, over and over.

The others manage to take out the remaining Shadows, but Chie still can’t stand, sitting up with her back against Yosuke, wincing. Souji crouches beside her, looking at her rapidly swelling ankle, the strange twist and swelling in her arm, and then back at her face, frowning. Yukiko looks pale, fanning herself rapidly, and Kanji paces back and forth, cracking his knuckles.

“Sensei, Chie-chan’s really hurt!” Teddie says, “We should retreat.”

“No, no, I’m – I’m fine,” Chies says, and tries to stand, stumbling immediately. Souji grabs her, steadying her on her feet. She can’t lean on one foot, and her whole left arm is in agony.

“Chie…” Yukiko begins.

“No, Teddie’s right,” Souji says firmly, “You need real medical attention. Let’s retreat for now.”

Chie looks around at them, at their concern and their panic, and feels as though she’s let them all down.

 

Souji’s nurse friend is…weird.

Weird, but good at her job, she’ll admit.

She’s not sure how to take being flirted with by a woman twice her age, though. And she isn’t totally sure whether it’s the ‘woman’ or the ‘twice her age’ part that’s throwing her off more.

“Well, the good news is you’ve only sprained your ankle. It should be fine to walk on, and be fully healed within a week,” Nurse Uehara says.

“A-and the bad news?” Kanji says, looking very pale. Chie is feels way too delirious from pain to be touched by his concern, and just finds herself staring at Yukiko.

She’s so pretty. Even all worried and tired and dirty and sweaty from fighting, she’s still so pretty.

“The arm’s broken. I’m sorry, but it will need to be in a sling for a few weeks,” Nurse Uehara says, and looks genuinely sorry for it, “We’re going to take a few X-rays to assess the extent of the damage, so you may be in for a few more hours.”

“A few hours…? Here?” Kanji mumbles. Souji rests a hand on his back.

“You guys don’t have to stay,” Chie says, her voice slurring, “You need to help Rise-chan.”

“Rise-chan?” Uehara says, raising an eyebrow. Souji jumps in and mumbles something at her that seems to fizzle away whatever concern she has. Instead, Uehara smiles and rests a hand on Souji’s chest (Yosuke eyes widen and then narrow and God, who does he think he’s kidding).

“Who does who think he’s kidding, senpai?” Kanji asks.

Chie didn’t mean to say that part aloud.

“Look, the point is, Chie’s right, we don’t all need to stay!” Yosuke says, very loudly, “How about one of us hangs around and the rest of us go rest up and discuss out next move?”

“Yukiko,” Chie says, immediately.

“Yes. I’ll – I’ll stay,” Yukiko says, gripping Chie’s good hand very firmly between both of hers.

“Yukiko…” Chie repeats, breathless just from the warmth of Yukiko’s hands, and for some reason boys turn away, suddenly looking very embarrassed.

 

**July 2nd**

“Hey, Chie, out and about?” Yosuke says as he enters the classroom, spotting Chie at her desk with her arm in a sling. Souji follows behind him.

“Ha, yeah, come on, it’ll take more than _that_ to keep me down,” she says, grinning. A few members of their class look at them curiously, but most of their homeroom have just learned not to even question them anymore.

Chie is fairly certain they’re slowly but surely becoming the school weirdos.

She isn’t sure how to feel about that.

“Doesn’t look like you’ll be in any state to go into the TV world though…” Yosuke says, frowning at her.

“We agreed to only go in together…” Souji says thoughtfully, frowning and rubbing his thumb across his lower lip.

“H-hey! I can still summon my Persona, right?” she says, “Don’t think I’m useless just because I’m a little hurt!”

“Woah, hey, none of us are saying that!” Yosuke says, holding up his hands, “I’m just saying, maybe you shouldn’t strain yourself.”

“You need to heal properly,” Souji agrees, nodding, “Though…it’s not like you to lose focus.”

“Uh,” she says, and feels the colour rush to her cheeks. What can she say? Her head’s been a mess with Yukiko for weeks? No way. Maybe Souji could offer some good advice, but, Yosuke? Well, judging from the way he reacted to Kanji’s Shadow, the way he was jumpy and weird around Kanji in general…Yosuke would not deal well with her tangled-up feelings for Yukiko.

What about the fact that she’s jealous, just so jealous of her own friends, and that it’s messing up her fighting?

No way. She isn’t going to admit that.

“Look, what about I hang back with Teddie as back-up while you guys rescue Rise?” she says, “We don’t have _time_ to wait for me to heal! We don’t know when the fog’s going to come. We need to get her out as quickly as possible.”

Souji looks reluctant, but Yosuke looks at him and gently nudges him with an elbow.

“She’s got a point, partner…the longer we wait, the more dangerous it gets for Rise in there,” he says.

“…Alright,” Souji concedes, after a long pause, “Tell us if you need anything.”

“Hey, I’ll be fine,” she says, and then continues brightly, “You know what, let’s hit the TV tonight! I’ll practice my magic outside and see if I can’t upgrade to a Bufula by the end of the day!”

Souji and Yosuke glance at one another, but whatever doubts they may have about that, they don’t share with her.

 

Playing back-up turns out to be both very boring, and, to her disgust, very tiring. Moving around after them on her swollen ankle is agonising, and after a while she needs to hang back, leaning against a wall to catch her breath, or let Yosuke or Yukiko cast a healing spell on her.

She feels like Dia should be able to fix it.

She feels like Tomoe should, at the very least, accelerate the healing process.

Yet for some reason, Tomoe seems stifled, quiet. She feels her restless in the back of her mind, fidgeting, but she lacks the calming presence she did before. Tomoe’s presence had always felt like a reassuring pair of hands on her shoulders, a warmth that made her heart braver and feel less like a scared little girl and more like a warrior of justice, determined to strike through the fog and find the truth.

When she reaches for Tomoe now, she feels almost…jagged. As though she cracked, sharp edges sticking out, pieces coming apart.

Chie shakes her head.

She just feels a little out of it. She’s hurt and tired. She just needs to heal up and stop worrying.

And she needs to get stronger. She needs to be able to protect Yukiko, and the rest of her friends too.

She just wishes she could heal, or cast more powerful magic, or _something._ She feels so useless, and all because she went off by herself again.

“It looks like we’re getting close to the top!” Teddie cries to them, as the others beat a Shadow into submission between them.

“Ted, are you sure? You’ve said that a lot!” Yosuke shouts back at them, and Chie sees Teddie wince.

“Well, I’m not totally sure, but I’m doing my best, darnit!” he says, and then quietly, so quietly he doubts the others can hear, “Though I am kind of a lousy bear…”

Normally, Chie would leap to cheer him up. When she opens her mouth to comfort him, though, she finds that nothing much comes out.

 _Misery loves company, huh, Chie?_ A voice hisses inside of her. Chie shudders.

Two floors later, they’re faced with Rise and her Shadow, a smirking girl in a barely-there bikini, spinning herself around a pole.

Despite herself, Chie finds herself looking at the Shadow’s body, her eye drawn to the way strands of hair fall between its cleavage. She thinks about Yukiko’s Shadow, flaunting itself so similarly, and shudders.

She thinks about Yukiko, stripped down to her skirt and bra, her hand in the dip of Chie’s waist under the blankets, her face so close, wetting her lips –

God, what was wrong with her? She was sick to be thinking about this here.

She pushes it away, focuses on poor Rise, who they’re here to save, poor Rise being faced by the worst of herself, screaming her secrets in front of the crowd of people she barely knows.

The Shadow giggles and twirls, and the real Rise lifts to her feet, angry and scared, glancing back at them, her face burning. The Shadow smiles.

And then, despite their cries of protest, Rise rejects it, and the girl in the bikini rips apart to reveal a monster.

 

Her friends are going to die in front of her, and Chie needs to step in.

“Tomoe!” she screams, reaching deep inside herself for Tomoe’s warmth and strength. She feels it, and she feels it fragment, and it’s like snatching against running water. She can’t summon her.

She steps forward again, closer to the Shadow as it scans her friends, all slumped on the floor and trying to catch their breath, blowing kisses and swinging back and forth on the pole.

“Tomoe!” Chie yells again, louder and shriller, and pushes further within herself, but there’s nothing, Tomoe is gone, Tomoe is gone and can’t help her and her friends are going to _die_ –

She hears squeaking, and sees the last person she’d ever expect to step in front of her.

“W-why am I stepping forward?” Teddie splutters, spreading his arms and standing in front of all of them. The others look up, alarmed, and Chie wishes she could push Teddie aside. It should be her taking the stand, it should be her swooping in to be the hero, not this stupid bear.

“Take a good look, at Teddie’s last stand!” he shouts, and Chie is knocked back by the sheer force of the power emanating from Teddie, and all she sees is a blast of light as Shadow Rise is torn apart.

 

It should be over with that, but it’s not.

Chie can only watch, Rise standing in front of her with Himiko, her new Persona, glowing around her, as the others bitterly hold their ground against Teddie’s Shadow.

They win, if only by the skin of their teeth and with some frantic support from Rise.

As they trudge back to the exit, supporting one another, their breathing ragged and their bodies littered with bruises and cuts that Yukiko and Yosuke’s healing spells have failed to remove, Souji pulls her apart from the rest of the group.

“You couldn’t summon Tomoe,” he says softly. Even though it’s direct, it doesn’t feel like it with Souji. Chie, her mouth very dry, can only nod her head.

“Do you know why?” he asks.

She shakes her head. He breathes out slowly, rubbing his hand across his faces and under his glasses. He looks so tired, and Chie feels weirdly responsible. Maybe if she hadn’t been hurt, maybe if she had still been able to summon Tomoe, this battle wouldn’t have been so harsh on all of them.

“Let’s talk about it later,” he says, “We all need to rest.”

Chie, for once, can’t argue. She’s just grateful it’s Sunday tomorrow.

At the very least, Rise is safe. Chie has time to figure out what happened to Tomoe. She doesn’t want to be so helpless ever again.

 

**July 3rd**

Chie wakes late to the sound of her phone vibrating on her bedside table. Blinking, she leans over and clumsily flips it open with her one good hand.

 _From: Souji Seta_  
_Look at this:_  
 _https://twitter.com/mochi_mute/status/812215070428041217_

Chie shouldn’t really be surprised that this is Souji’s way of cheering her up.

_Thnx. I luv them._

_Me too._

Weirdo, she thinks fondly, and then her eyes go to the text directly beneath it.

_From: Yukiko Amagi  
I’d like to talk, just you and me. What do you think?_

Chie’s heart patters, hard enough to make her feel a little nauseous.

_R u free today?_

 

By the time Chie limps to the Samegawa Flood Plain, Yukiko is already waiting for her, sitting neatly with her hands in her lap under the shelter. She turns her head and stands up when she sees her, smiling, a little nervously, but earnestly.

If Chie could walk properly, she would throw herself at Yukiko and kiss her right there and then. As it is, all she can do is lift her good arm and call out ‘Hey!’.

 “Chie, thank you,” she says, “Do you want to sit down?”

“Hah, please, my dumb leg is killing me,” she says, steering herself into the bench next to Yukiko, their shoulders pressing together. She half expects Yukiko leap away from the contact, but she stays, hands in her lap, smiling absently.

“Um…well…”

“Are you okay?” Chie asks.

“Oh, me? Yes, I’m fine. Rise’s Shadow was…challenging, and who know our little Teddie had something like that inside him…but I’m fine,” she says, smiling at her.

Yukiko is so strong, Chie thinks. Sometimes she can hardly believe that she used to think of her as weak, as something that Chie needs to – _gets to_ protect. Why? Because she’s pretty and slim, wears a kimono nicely, wears her hair long? Why were those reasons to call someone weak? How could anyone call her weak when Yukiko was also the smartest person in school, when she also worked all those crazy hours at the inn without even wincing, when she shouldered so much and looked so graceful doing it? What had Chie been _thinking_?

But then…with Yukiko so strong, so pretty, so good, then…

What did she need Chie for?

“What about you?” Yukiko asks, fixing her with a look that makes Chie’s toes curl inside her shoes. She fidgets, grinning a little awkwardly.

“Ha, well, aside from being all beat up…um…” she says, and trails off.

Was she really okay? Could she really say that, with Tomoe locked away from herself? Every time she reached inside herself and couldn’t find that source of strength, it felt like brushing against crackling static. It made her ears ring. It made her feel like only half of what she was.

“Aahah…has Souji spoken to you recently?” she asks.

“Souji-kun?” Yukiko repeats, surprised, “No…not about anything in particular. Why?”

She should tell her.

She should tell the entire team, so they can work out how to fix it.

The words stick in her throat, gumming at the roof of her mouth. All she can imagine if the shock and disappointment, the discussions as people fuss over her, dissect her issues, revisit all the awful things her Shadow said in an attempt to unpick where the problem lay – it’s unbearable to even think about it.

“Oh, haha. No reason,” she says, and if it’s unconvincing, Yukiko doesn’t notice. Or is too polite to say anything about it. She clears her throat.

“So…what did you want to talk about?”

“I…well…I went out with Junta a couple of times since. That day.”

Something in Chie’s chest sinks low enough to meet her stomach.

“Oh?” she says, attempting to sound laid-back about it.

“I…didn’t think much of him,” Yukiko admits, after a long moment, and then glances up at Chie, almost shy, her cheeks turning pink, “I was finding it a little hard to focus on Junta the way I should, honestly.”

“O-oh?” Chie repeats, and wishes she had something better to say. Something smooth and winning. She searches her brain for romantic scenes from movies she’s watched, but all her stupid brain will come up with is Kung Fu Hustle, of all things. She doesn’t think offering Yukiko a symbolic lollipop is the way to go, here.

“Chie, I –“

Screw it.

Chie dives forward – a little too fast, and their teeth hit against one another, but before Yukiko can start laughing, she grabs Yukiko’s shoulder with her good hand and pulls her into a proper kiss. It’s great, it’s so good, and Yukiko is kissing her back, and Chie wasn’t convinced she would, and…and…

And then Yukiko is pushing her away.

“Chie! We’re in public,” she hisses, face bright red. Chie feels her own face heat up.

“…Yeah, I – I guess,” she says, dumbly.

In public. Kissing another girl.

If anyone saw that…

Well, the scandal would drag the Amagi Inn’s name through the mud, at least. And while Chie knows that there are already people at school saying certain…things about Kanji, and a few about herself, she doesn’t want to throw any more fuel into that fire.

She’s not even –

Well, maybe she isn’t?

Maybe she is?

All she knows is that she’s confused. Maybe she’s just mixing up friendship with romance, maybe she’s just taking her first kiss, just a little bit of playful experimentation, too seriously.

Or maybe she’s a big dummy with a big dumb crush on her best friend.

She doesn’t know. She just doesn’t.

“S-sorry,” Chie stutters.

“That’s okay, I just…” Yukiko says, and trails off, looking at her hands, “Can we keep this secret?”

 _What’s THIS_ , Chie wants to scream. _I’m not smart, Yukiko, I don’t know what people mean when they don’t say what they feel, I’m not even sure what I feel right now, I can’t figure this out, please help me!_

She wants to shake Yukiko by the shoulders and have her tell her everything, every little thought and feeling since the day they dragged Kanji from the TV. She can’t bear the uncertainty.

But if she does that, Yukiko might get scared and run.

And she can bear the thought of that even less.

“Okay,” she says instead, smiling.

 

**July 10th**

Rise is cute.

Chie can admit that. She didn’t really expect to find her cute –  Risette is a bit much for her, and the Rise they met in the tofu shop too sad and gloomy. But when they meet Rise at the shrine, and she so earnestly thank them for saving her, even Chie, who did really nothing at all, Chie has to admit it.

Rise is cute. She’s pretty, she’s keen to help, she’s clearly smarter than her Risette persona would have you believe, and she clearly already loves them a lot. Even if Souji looks a bit bemused with the attention, and Yosuke looks as though he’s internally screaming watching them.

And she looks really good in a swimsuit. Even if Chie feels weird and dirty admitting it.

Do most girls find other girls cute that way?

Glancing between Rise, and Yukiko, Chie realises she doesn’t really know any girls she could ask.

And with Morooka’s corpse looming over them, with all the mysteries it embodied, Chie can’t help but think maybe now isn’t the time to think about it.

**July 16th**

Souji is…

Well, she likes Souji a lot.

She isn’t sure if she’d call him cute.

Or handsome, even.

She supposes, squinting at him from across the table, that he is a good-looking guy. He’s got a nice, symmetrical face, nice features, pretty eyes. His hair’s a bit weird, as is his dress sense (whose favourite colour is _grey_?), but she can hardly fault him too much for that. It’s not like Chie is a fashionista herself.

Mostly, Chie just likes him because he’s kind and a great listener and an awesome friend, and he’s weird in a way that balances that all out. She wants to do well for him. Being around him makes her want to work harder, do better. Hell, she even agreed to come to his little study group with Yosuke and Kanji. Since Chie usually only studied if Yukiko bullied her into it the night before an exam, that was a testament to Souji’s powers as a good influence.

Is that the same thing as a crush? Could she have a crush on Souji?

She looks at Kanji and Yosuke, and tries to summon up some similar interest in them.

Kanji is a good guy. A little rough around the ages, but a good guy, and she thinks they have a lot in common. If he wasn’t so squeamish around girls, they could be good friends. She’d like to work on that. He could be a good training partner, and it’s hard to imagine someone you’d want having your back in a fight more.

Yosuke is a pain in the butt. But he’s also her friend. They have the same taste in movies, and music, and she thinks that under his stupid machismo and occasionally creepy behaviour, he’s actually a nice guy. And he’s loyal to his friends and smarter than he seems. She just wishes he’d cool it on all his weird comments about girls.

Are either of those _crushes_?

“Hey, Chie-senpai, y’alright?” Kanji says, snapping her out of her reverie.

“Oh, uh, yeah, so…um, Pythagoras, right?” she says, saying the first fancy name that came into her head. The boys stare at her.

“Um, not exactly,” Souji says softly, with a little smile, “That’s fine – let’s review from the top.”

Chie breathes out, grateful for Souji’s seemingly limitless supply of patience, and then catches a glance at the soppy way Yosuke is staring at him. Noticing her staring at him, Yosuke clears his throat and busies himself sorting through his notes.

Yeah.

She’s not sure how she feels about Souji is quite like _that_ at all.

 

**July 17th**

With a gruelling week of examination ahead, she invites Yukiko back to her place for a study session. Considering how much Yukiko seems eaten up by her duties at the inn, by studying for a job license, she expects her to say no. She can barely resist jumping up and down the spot when she does say yes.

Somewhere along the line, the notes end up discarded, the text-book face-down and the floor, and they end up kissing again, Yukiko seated on her lap, her long legs hanging off the end of the bed, Chie’s arm around her waist, and everything else Chie was worried about melts away, however briefly.

With Yukiko’s fingers digging into her shoulders, her whole body bending under Chie’s touch and kiss, Chie feels whole again.

 

**July 18th**

Lying on her side early in the morning, Chie watches the way Yukiko’s face lights up when she talks about all the places she wants to go, all the things she wants to see. She listens to her talk about travelling overseas, about going to college to study interior design, about how she wants to learn to sew, play an instrument, learn a million languages. She talks about opening up little cafes in Paris, about designing clothes in Milan, about studying business in New York. Yukiko’s laugh is so much lighter than it used to be, so much more frequently used. And when she talks about all the places she can go and all the things she can do with the inn left behind, she glows.

Chie is so happy for her.

She is.

But she has to wonder if she’s included in any of these grand plans. Or if this grubby girl she knew in high school will be left behind as well when she leaves.

She reaches out and takes Yukiko’s hand, pushing the thought out of her mind, just trying to focus on the day off together they have ahead.

Yet she can’t help but think she’s holding Yukiko’s hand too tight.

Wherever Yukiko goes, no matter what she does, Chie decides she’ll follow. After all, nothing else matters beyond keeping them both together.

 

**July 29th**

Chie’s cast is off just in time with Rise managing to track down Mitsuo’s trail in the TV. Throwing a few kicks, and performing a somewhat clumsy flip, the other members of the team give her a cheer outside the entrance to Mitsuo’s stupid video-game-themed mindscape.

“Woohoo Chie-chan!” Teddie crows.

“Hell yeah, with Chie-senpai back, we’re gonna be unstoppable!” Kanji agrees, pumping his fist with a big grin.

“I gotta admit, this is gonna be a lot easier with your raw power back on side,” Yosuke says, winking at her.

“Although we will need to make sure you’re not rusty,” Souji says, but so reasonably Chie can’t even take insult from it.

“Haha, thanks guys,” Chie says, scratching the back of her neck, “The docs said it was a super-fast recovery! Guess our Personas help with that, huh?”

Yukiko says nothing, but smiles at her over her fan. Chie grins back.

With Yukiko as her – her…well, with Yukiko as _hers_ , only hers, and her injuries healed, Tomoe would come back.

She’s sure of it.

 

Yet Tomoe is still fragmented and weak.

She flickers when summoned unless Chie focuses so hard it draws all her energy towards her. Even then, Chie can only hold her in place for so long, and when she disappears it always leaves her gasping for breath.

As they reach the second floor of Mitsuo’s stupid, head-ache inducing dungeon, Chie finds herself leaning against the wall, chomping down a Soul Food a concern-looking Souji passed her, trying to figure out when this became so _hard_.

Yukiko watches her, frowning, and Chie is hit by a bolt of sudden, painful hatred that Yukiko doesn’t seem to be struggling with this at all.


	3. August

**4th August**

As they grind through Void Quest, Chie still struggling to hold Tomoe in place, she notices, out of the corner of her eye, Yosuke sweating, and Jiraiya flickering in and out of view.

It looks as though she’s not the only one struggling.

 

**8th August**

Yukiko has a new Persona – Amaterasu, a woman made of golden sunlight and scorching heat. Beautiful and powerful all at once. It suits her perfectly.

“How did it change?” Chie asks her quietly, as they ascend the stairs to the next level of Void Quest. Yukiko glances at her, something a little secretive in her gaze, and Chie’s heart leaps to her throat.

“I’ve…come to some realisations about myself,” is all she says, and then they’re thrown straight back into battle, and Chie doesn’t manage to get any more out of her than that.

She may be going crazy, but she feels a little bit like Yukiko is avoiding her.

 

**10th August**

Mitsuo’s Shadow is, quite easily, one of the most _annoying_ things they’ve ever fought. Aside from the horrible way that baby…thing squeals and squawks, it keep rebuilding its weird retro armour over and over again.

And with Tomoe on the fritz, Chie feels as though she’s dragging the team down. She knows they only took this long to get this far because she and Yosuke aren’t carrying their weight properly. And she knows, from the careful, thoughtful look Souji is giving them both, that this isn’t escaping their leader’s notice.

And Yukiko, too, every time she casts Diarama on Chie, purses her lips, her gaze straying to Chie when she should be focusing on the battle at hand.

Chie isn’t going to let herself slack off. With a whip of her leg, she casts Bufula and the blast of frost blows Mitsuo’s armour apart, and the baby drops to the floor with a wail.

“Alright, everybody pile on!” Chie calls, and they all fall upon the Shadow, thrashing it with everything they’ve got, and, finally, it fizzes away with a final scream.

“We. We did it…” Chie breathes out, dropping to one knee, her chest heaving. She sees Yosuke leaning his elbow on Teddie’s head to keep himself upright, his face red.

The others, for all they’re battered and tired, don’t look anywhere near as worn out.

She feels a pair of soft hands on her back, a smooth heat lapping through her body, pushing out the aches and the soreness, and Chie stands up, leaning back into Yukiko’s warmth.

“Are you okay?” Yukiko mutters to her, as the others deal with Mitsuo.

“I’m fine, thanks,” she says, reaching up to take hold of Yukiko’s hand. Her skin is so hot, and soft despite all the work she does in and outside of the TV.

She notices Yosuke looking at them, brow furrowed, and the two of them spring apart.

 

Chie and Yukiko have been going home together after every one of their journeys into the TV.

Yet as soon as they drag Mitsuo out and call the police, Yuikiko says something about work she needs to catch up at the inn, and rushes off alone.

Chie feels Yosuke watching her, that same puzzled look on his face, and smiles and waves her goodbye as cheerful as she can.

 

**12th August**

Yukiko is definitely avoiding her.

 

**14th August**

Chie stares at the text she just sent, and wishes, as she has so many times before, that there was an _undo_ button.

_To: Yukiko Amagi_

_R u OK? Feel like u’ve been avoiding me…_

It sounds passive-aggressive. And needy. Moreover, she sounds clingy. She sounds clingy in a way she’s been fighting not to be, ever since facing –

_I’ll never loosen my grip on her. She’s too important to me._

Something shudders inside of her, and Chie breathes out, her fingers white-knuckle tight around her phone. She closes her eyes and reaches for Tomoe, and feel her presence, not the big warm thing she’d once been, something small and brittle, that would shatter if Chie tried to grip her too tight.

What is wrong with her Persona?

What was wrong with _her_?

Her phone vibrates in her hand, and for a second Chie keeps her eyes closed. She doesn’t want to see whatever Yukiko has to say, yet she does. She wants Yukiko to apologise for ignoring her, to assert how wonderful Chie is and how much she _needs_ her –

_Chie is my prince._

No, no. She doesn’t want to hear that.

_Who are you kidding_ , a voice sneers inside of her head, so like her own, _that’s what you want to hear. Yukiko’s so smart and so pretty and so much better than you. Lets face it, the only reason someone like **that** will keep someone like **you**_ _around is if they need you. If she thinks that you’re her prince._

She’s not like that now, she reminds herself. She’s changing. They all are.

She opens her eyes, hoping that it’s just some dumb joke from Yosuke, or arranging another visit into the TV from Souji, or something like that.

_I’m glad you messaged me. Yes. There’s something I’d like to talk about._

Chie stares at the message with shaking hands.

_Can I come over now?_

Chie agrees, but the sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach tells her that this isn’t going to be anything good.

Yukiko can’t dump her, for the very simple reason that they’re not…actually…dating. Even though they were making out a lot lately, and even though Yukiko was genuinely the only person Chie had ever kissed, and even if Chie sometimes felt as though she was on the cusp of a murderous rage every time some boy at school tried to talk to Yukiko like that. Because they were friends. Friends who sometimes (often) made out.

Sure, _Chie_ couldn’t stop thinking about Yukiko, and Chie sometimes wanted to go further than just making out, and okay maybe Chie enjoys the sight of girls in bikinis more than she really should, but none of that meant Yukiko felt the same way. Maybe Yukiko had just been…experimenting, and wanted to tell her the experiment hadn’t worked?

Maybe that’s how Chie should feel too.

Chie’s head hurts thinking about it. She’s so embroiled in her thoughts she barely notices her mother calling from downstairs, letting her know Yukiko was on their front porch.

 

“You’re staying in Inaba?”

Yukiko sits on Chie’s bed, her arms folded in her lap, her back a graceful line, not a strand of dark hair out of place, every bit the graceful inn heiress. Even wearing her kimono.

“I’ve thought long and hard about it, and I’ve decided that there’s too many kind people at the inn I would be letting down if I left,” Yukiko says, and the speech sounds rehearsed, as though Yukiko wrote it down and then whispered it to herself over and over, “And I love this town. If I stay of my own volition then - then I’m still making my own choices.”

_This is what you wanted_ , her own voice whispers, _you want her to stay so you can save her. Princess Yukiko and her gallant knight._

“You can’t do that! That’s crazy,” Chie blurts out, if only to drown out the sound of her own thoughts, “You’ve wanted to leave Inaba for _years_ , and then in a few weeks –“

 “Chie, I have responsibilities!” Yukiko snaps, “To my family, and our business, and to the town in general. Leaving is just – is just selfish. Not when the people in the inn have been so kind to me?”

“Just because someone’s kind to you doesn’t mean you owe them anything,” Chie snarls.

“But I _do_ , I owe people so much, and I can’t run away from my future for something uncertain,” Yukiko snaps, “Souji-kun agrees with me on this…”

Souji, why would Souji encourage her to do this to herself?

“Why does everyone act as though Souji is the most important guy in the entire world!” Chie squawks, loud enough to make Yukiko jump, and she’s so burningly jealous suddenly, it feels like it’s going to tear her up from the inside. She wants to yell some more, she wants to storm over to the Dojima’s and bellow at Souji until she feels better. She wants to go into the TV and kick Shadows unitl she feels calmer.

She catches sight of Yukiko’s stunned expression, and decides she needs to calm down - why is she getting into a fight about this, why is she being so crazy about it?

She shakes her head, and then breathes in and out, trying to remember the meditative breathing Souji told her about, the way he said she could clear her head and learn to think before she acted.

“Alright, sorry…” Chie says, cooling down, “Sorry, you just always sounded so excited about leaving and finding your own way and – and that just came as a bit of a shock. Listen, Yukiko, whatever you want to do, I’ll support you.”

Yukiko smiles at her, a little shakily.

“Thank you, Chie,” she says, “This has been a really hard decision to make. And I need to commit to it. And I don’t think I’d be able to do that without you by my side.”

Chie reaches for her hand, but Yukiko leans away and Chie snatches it back, trying to pretend she didn’t try, her breath catching in her throat.

“So…I know it’s very early, but my parents have been talking some more…about meeting up with more boys like Junta,” she says, “I told them I probably wouldn’t be able to find a husband by myself, so they want to help.”

Why not, Chie thinks, but doesn’t say. Why not, when all the boys in school would give their right arms to just go on a date with her.

“So I’ve decided I’ll give it a chance, for the sake of the inn and my future,” she says, “It will be my choice. It will always be my choice.”

Chie feels sick.

She _is_ being dumped. Subtly, quietly, but she is, and it feels as though the world is falling apart around her.

“Chie, are you okay?” Yukiko asks, from somewhere.

“Ha, haha? Me? Of course I am,” she says, although she isn’t quite sure where the words are coming from, “I’m happy for you Yukiko. I’ll always be by your side.”

_Like a slavering dog_ , her Shadow sneers inside of her, even as Yukiko pulls her into a hug.

 

**15th August**

Chie doesn’t have time to mope, as Yosuke begs and pleads for her to come in with Souji and help him out at Junes for the hero show. In a way, she’s grateful. Sweating it out in Junes, pawning off their steak skewers and helping Teddie behind the griddle, it easily keeps her mind of Yukiko, and her feet out of Souji’s stupid face.

(Why did he encourage her to stay? Surely he knows how much she wants to leave? Why would he _do_ that to her?)

Yet she feels, deep within herself, that Tomoe has curled away and went cold, and she doesn’t want to think about what that means.

The murders are over, and the murderer has been caught. It doesn’t matter, either way.

 

**16th August**

She’s not mad at Souji.

He’s her friend, and he’s a good guy, and he probably just helped Yukiko think things through.

She’s just mad at the situation, and herself. She’s not mad at Souji at all.

 

**17th August**

No, no.

She is.

She’s goddamn furious with him.

How _dare_ he force her to stay in Inaba? What did he say?? What did he SAY???

 

**18th August**

No, Souji is such a great guy. He always listens to people, he always helps them figure things out for themselves, he never _tells_ them what to do. Besides, he was so gentle and mumble-y that there was no way he could inflict his will on anyone.

This is all Yukiko’s decision, and Chie needs to be supportive of it.

 

**19th August**

No, fuck Souji! This has to be his fault! He needs to pay!

Stupid bowl-cut-y little weirdo, who does he think he is just sweeping into Inaba and making half the town fall in love with him, _this is entirely his fault._ One thousand kicks to the face as punishment!

Those thoughts propel her out of her house, walking across Inaba to the Dojima residence.

Well, those thoughts, and an elaborate fantasy about forcing Souji (in her mind rendered huge and menacing, with amber eyes and a nasty smirk) to admit that she worked some horrible manipulation on Yukiko and Yukiko (in her princess dress, her face hidden behind her fan), upon this realisation, turns to clasp Chie’s hands (at some point, Chie started imagining herself in a samurai get-up, looking much taller and cooler than she ever does in real life) and telling her to whisk her away to Tokyo where they can live together forever.

Yeah, yeah, that was how it was gonna work.

She turns the corner and arrives at the Dojima residence.

Souji is helping Nanako harvest vegetables in the garden, the cats that hang around his house slinking around his feet, singing a silly little song with Nanako as they work.

God. Damnit.

Nanako catches sight of her first and gasps, leaping to her feet, rushing towards Chie, heedless of the dirt covering her apron and gloves.

“Chie-san!” she shouts, catching Chie around the waist in a vice-tight hug, her chin on Chie’s stomach, “Did you come to visit us?”

Souji follows, tugging off his gloves and tucking them into the front pocket of his apron, smiling at her.

“Oh, well –“

It is very hard to keep the mental image of Souji as an evil mastermind whe n he’s wearing an apron patterned with little cartoon vegetables.

“Haha, well, I was out for a little bit of a jog. You know, training! Though I’d pop in and see you both,” she says, laughing awkwardly.

“Me and big bro are cooking tonight, we’re making okonomiyaki! Do you wanna stay for some?” she says, and both she and Souji are fixing her with the same look and oh God –

“Um, well, I was just hoping to have a quick word with your big bro…”

“Oh…” Nanako says. Souji’s face falls too. Oh no, no no no, they both look so _sad_. Chie can’t do this. She’s not a monster.

“B-but I didn’t know you were making dinner! Of course I’ll stay, Nanako-chan,” she says.

“Yay! Okay, okay, I’ll – um, I’ll make you some tea while big bro finishes in the garden,” she says, taking Chie’s hand and leading her into the house. The Dojima house is nice, more traditional than the Satonaka house, with a neatly arranged little kitchen and a tiny TV in the corner. The fridge is covered in little notes, mostly from Souji or Nanako, but there’s the occasional note from Dojima, mostly apologising for not being home the next day, or reminding one of them to get groceries, or one that’s just says ‘WHAT’S WITH THE DAMN CATS?’.

“I wish I knew, Dojima-san,” Chie whispers to the note, shaking her head.

“Ah, um, we just have bagged tea, is that okay?” Nanako pipes up beside her, “Big bro used the last of the green tea powder baking something the other night. Oh! But we may have a slice of that cake left, it was really yummy!”

Of course he bakes.

“Bagged tea is great, Nanako-chan,” she says, and Nanako busily boils the kettle and puts a slice of lucid green cake, iced with chocolate, on a plate for her, along with a little fork. She chatters all the while, mostly stories about Souji, but also about Junes, and about school, and about her father.

Nanako seems so excited to have a guest. Chie supposes that even with her big bro around, she’s still a pretty lonely kid.

“You’re pretty mature, Nanako-chan, taking care of the house and your big bro like this,” she says, as Nanako passes her a cup of hot tea. It smells like jasmine – not exactly Chie’s favourite, but like hell she’s not drinking it after Nanako went to all the trouble of making it.

“Oh, um, well…Dad isn’t home a lot, so I had to learn to do this. But big bro helps a lot, and he’s been helping me grow veggies, and teaching me to cook, and making my lunch for school!” Nanako says, “And I love you guys too. You’re all so nice to me. I feel like I have a really big family now!”

Chie is gripped by the sudden, powerful urge to slide off the sofa, lie face-down on the floor, and cry for twenty minutes straight.

Instead, she smiles at Nanako and eats a forkful of matcha cake.

As expected, it’s amazing.

She hears the door slide open and Souji steps in, kicking off his shoes and hanging his apron up before stepping on the tatami.

“Oh, big bro, you want tea too, right? It’s your favourite!” Nanako says, but Souji is already pouring himself a cup.

“Thanks, Nanako,” he says sitting down at the table opposite her, cup in hand. She glances at Chie on the sofa, leaning back with cake in her lap, and for some reason both he and Nanako giggle, glancing at one another.

“What?” she says, checking if she’d got frosting around her mouth. Both Nanako and Souji shake their heads.

“You just look like Dojima sitting there,” Souji explains.

“Do I?” Chie repeats, bemused.

Despite the fact this is Dojima’s house, she finds it hard to imagine him in it. It’s not easy to picture him watching TV, or doing the dishes at the sink. It’s easier to imagine that only Souji and Nanako live there. Like Souji’s a single dad or something.

They both nod at her, still giggling, and Nanako gets up to take the empty plate from her. Souji chides her for giving Chie dessert before dinner, and that sets her into a pout that makes Souji laugh and ruffle her hair. They set to cooking together, Souji doing most of the work but directing Nanako to chop or grate things, occasionally. As Souji starts putting things on the oil, he gives Nanako a little high-five and sends her to get the plates out.

Watching her humming and setting the table, Chie can’t help but think Nanako seems so much more cheerful than she was just a few short months ago.

So does Souji, at that. It’s hard to tell with him, but Chie thinks he seems happier than he did when he first arrived in Inaba.

She reminds herself that she is, in fact, absolutely incandescently furious with Souji and damnit, she is going to get to that! He will pay for his crimes!

Souji brings over dinner and Chie’s mouth fills with saliva. Okay, maybe vengeance can wait until after she eats.

“What? You guys were working at Junes today?” Nanako asks them over dinner, as though that’s the most fun anyone in the entire world can have.

“Haha…yeah, it wasn’t so great, Nanako-chan,” Chie replies, wondering if Yosuke would ever get desperate enough to bring Nanako in for work too.

“Oh, but, I love Junes. Did you have to sing the jingle?”

“No,” Chie says, at the exact moment Souji says, “Yes”, and then Chie finds herself in a ridiculous contest over who can sing the Junes jingle best.

They talk over dinner, and watch one of Nanako’s quiz shows, and then some weird drama Souji (and, apparently, Rise and Kanji) watch, and Chie doesn’t even notice how late it’s become before Nanako’s eyes start to droop closed.

“’M not tired…” Nanako says, as Souji tries to scoop her up.

“Yes, you are,” Souji says firmly, sounding much more like the version of himself he was inside the TV, “Come on, Chie’s going home soon.”

“Mm…no,” she replies, but can’t resist when Souji picks her up, tucking her chin in the crook of his neck. Chie follows them upstairs, and stops at the top of the staircase as the two of them disappear into Nanako’s room.

“Big bro!” Chie hears Nanako say, still sounding drowsy, “Dad isn’t home yet. I can’t sleep!”

There’s a brief, quiet argument (in which Nanako seems to be doing most the arguing), and then Souji sticks his head out of the bedroom door, looking apologetic.

“Can you hold on a minute? I know you want to talk but Nanako won’t sleep like this if I don’t read to her first,” he says.

“Oh, yeah, sure!” Chie says, and she’s doing just a _horrible_ job of being angry with him, “I’ll uh…yeah. I’ll just be in your room?”

Souji nods and disappears back into Nanako’s room, leaving Chie feeling very awkward. Sucking on her lower lip, wishing she had a slip of meat gum or something to chew on or something, she wanders into Souji’s room.

She’s been in here before, albeit briefly. It’s a billion times neater than her own room, the bed made perfectly and everything perfectly tidy and in its place. There’s a stack of textbooks on his desk, and a few notebooks. There’s a couple boxes beside the sofa, stuffed with that looks like…origami cranes and envelopes? Okay then.

Looking around, she flicks through one of the notebooks on his desk. Mostly, it’s just little scribblings about his Personae, complicated looking diagrams linking different Personae together with lines, little notes of spells next to them. Chie can’t make heads or tails of it.

One page makes her pause, squinting.

I – Yosuke Hanamura – 10 -> ? No change?

II – Yukiko Amagi – 10                                                                    

III – Margaret – 3

The entire page was like that – names of people Chie sometimes knew, often didn’t, next to a little roman numeral and a digit.

VII – Chie Satonaka - 7

Were they ratings? Souji didn’t seem like the kind of creep to rate girls out of ten like that…and the boys’ names were on here too. Though he did seem like the kind of guy that might not matter to? He had been really calm facing Kanji’s Shadow, after all. Calmer than _some people_ Chie could mention.

But Nanako and Dojima’s names were listed too.

What the hell? Chie shakes her head, and decides this was just too obtuse to be worth snooping through. It doesn’t tell her anything about Yukiko’s sudden change of heart. She closes the notebook with a sigh, and glances around the room.

His phone lies on his worktable.

Now that…that might be worth snooping through.

Glancing down the hallway, the door to Nanako’s room is still closed. She strains her ears, and can hear the faint sound of their voices.

With a pang of guilt, she opens his phone up and finds he doesn’t even lock with a passcode or anything. Tapping through to his texts, he finds Yukiko’s name, her heart hammering.

The most recent text:

_Thank you for talking to me the other day. It really helped me get things straight in my head._

What did that mean?

Still guilty, convinced Souji was going to burst in at any moment, she scrolls backwards, anticipating some juicy gossip, suddenly wracked with the horrible thought that maybe Souji had been flirting with her.

_Souji-kun, what if the body Teddie made inside his suit was another smaller Teddie body?_

_Is it a suit or a new Teddie?_

_A new Teddie. There are two Teddies now._

_Each Teddie grows another smaller Teddie. Inaba would be overrun with tinier and tinier Teddies._

_Teddie, no, stop! There are already too many!_

_It’s too late, Souji-kun! THE BEARS ARE IN._

Chie stares at the screen.

Aside from texts planning hang-outs or trips to the TV, most of their texts seem to be…well. Like that.

Chie doesn’t know what to make of that. Although now she sort of understands why Yukiko occasionally just looks at her phone and lapses into hysterics. Sort of.

She feels like an idiot. She closes the phone and sets it back down on the table, and flops down on the sofa. Why was she snooping? Souji and Yukiko were both her _friends_.

_You’re scared he’s going to take her from you. You don’t want to share Yukiko. She’s the only thing that makes you worthwhile._

She squeezes her eyes shut, feeling her Shadow jostle and whisper inside her, sneering. She tries to focus her energy down, compress all that jealousy and possessiveness back into Tomoe’s strength, channel all her energy and her desire to be noticed into Tomoe’s desire to serve and protect.

“Chie?”

Chie opens her eyes, looking at Souji standing in the doorway, the corners of his mouth quirked downward and his brow creased with concern.

“I snooped through your phone. And your notebook,” Chie blurts out immediately, not even pausing to think, and she feels as though she can breathe again. Souji looks at her, politely baffled.

“Oh,” he says.

“Sorry…I’ve…I’ve been feeling kind of crazy lately,” she asks, “That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“…Is there anything I can do?” he asks, sitting down next to her. She shifts away from him without thinking, and sees him wince.

“Look, why did you put that stupid idea in Yukiko’s head?” she snaps. He doesn’t reply, just tilts his head. Souji always does this – goes quiet. She thinks he may do it intentionally - people always feel the need to fill the gaps in conversation. Maybe it’s a way for him not to talk about himself.

She was so stupid when he first moved to Inaba, saying he seemed like the kind of guy has nothing to hide. For however kind Souji is, she thinks more and more lately she doesn’t really know anything about him. And she thinks that may be intentional.

“Yukiko was all ready to leave Inaba after high school, and now she’s going to take over the inn just like she _never_ wanted to,” she continues, “She said it was your idea!”

Kind of an exaggeration. She doesn’t care, she’s just trying to get her point across.

“Yukiko has been conflicted about it for a while,” he replies, “I didn’t tell her to do anything.”

Chie glares. She can do the silence thing too.

“I supported her when she wanted to leave, I support her now she wants to say,” he continues, rubbing the back of his neck.

“But – you’re just agreeing with her no matter what! That’s what you _always_ do,” she says, frustrated, “You just tell people what they want to hear, even if it’s supporting a _stupid_ decision!”

Souji looks outright wounded, and she feels as though she’s just jabbed a real sore spot. She breathes in, steeling herself against that kicked-puppy look.

“Yukiko has been trying for _years_ to get out of that inn, and now she feels guilty because the people there are nice to her,” she continues, “And then you tell her, ‘Yeah Yukiko, you SHOULD stay because of your bout of guilt’, and now she – she’s going to let her parents set her up with a husband she doesn’t want, and she’s never going to do all the things she’s always been talking about!”

“…Inaba’s a really nice place,” Souji says, quietly, “It’s not unreasonable she doesn’t want to leave.”

She stares at him, uncomprehending. What was with that tone? What did –

Oh.

_Oh._

“…Is this still about Yukiko?” Chie asks. Souji stares at her, gaze penetrating.

“I don’t know. Is it?” he asks.

“Yes!” she says, and then, “No. I mean…sort of? Sort of, yes, sort of no?”

“You’re still having problems with Tomoe, aren’t you?” he asks, quietly. Chie looks down at the floor.

“Yeah. I am. I know the case is closed and everything, but it still bugs me! I feel like all I did since Rise-chan’s kidnapping was weigh you guys down,” she says, and then immediately finds herself annoyed that Souji managed to wring some more uncomfortable honesty out of her, “But I hate that Yukiko has resigned herself to staying here for the inn. She says it’s her own choice now but…I’m not sure. Can someone change their minds that quickly?”

Souji remains silent for a moment.

“I don’t know,” he says, “I think we just need to be supportive.”

“Does that mean just agreeing?” Chie says, “I want her to know I feel this way! Not just smile and tell her I think it’s a great idea.”

“You have a point,” Souji concedes, and then in an oddly heavy voice, “Maybe friends need to challenge each other now and then.”

Chie frowns at him.

“I need to learn that, too,” he says, his mouth quirking into a tentative smile, and then he bolts upright, eyes widening. She watches, bemused, as he crosses the room to his little notebook, adjusting something.

“Uh, yeah, I looked at that list thing. Uh, what is it?” she asks.

“Oh, um,” he says, “I like to keep track of how close I feel to people.”

She stares at him.

“It’s out of ten. Ten being closest I feel I can be…at this time, all things considered,” he says, hunching his shoulders, embarrassed.

“It’s to do with the TV world. And it just helps me think,” he continues, twisting a strand of his hair between his fingers. Chie decides to take pity, and laughs, dismissing it with a wave of her hand.

“Alright, alright. I don’t think that’s exactly how it works though. I mean is there a _maximum_ on that kind of thing?” she asks, “I mean, sheesh, I’ve known Yukiko for years and I learn new things about her all the time! And…you know, sometimes it feels like things go backwards too.”

He nods, and she thinks, suddenly, of telling him about the way she and Yukiko have been fooling around recently, and how it was so suddenly broken off.

But that would involve spilling Yukiko’s secrets too, and Chie has the feeling that whatever they were doing together, whatever they were, it’s bugging Yukiko still, a lot.

“Hey, thanks for listening, Souji-kun. You’re…you know, you’re a really good friend,” she says instead, lamely, and she knows that Souji can tell she hasn’t told the full story. He doesn’t the push the issue, because of course he doesn’t, and just smiles as he walks her to the door.

 

**August 20th**

The Summer Festival is…awkward, to say the least. Yukiko acts too cheerful as they get ready, looking at everyone but Chie, and then Teddie wants them to pair off into boy-girl pairs, for some weird reason. She isn’t even sure if Teddie, exactly, knows what he’s talking about when he says these things.

Well, if anyone was going to give Teddie the birds and the bees talk, it wasn’t going to be Chie. It was really a task better suited for Souji or Yosuke – they acted like his Mom and Dad half the time, anyway.

There’s a lot of arguing; neither Chie or Yukiko are particularly eager to pair off with the boys, Kanji splutters out his discomfort, Rise tuggson Souji’s arm and batting her eyelashes up at him the whole time, and Yosuke gets progressively louder and more high-pitched.

Eventually they end up just wandering through the festival as a big group. It’s the simplest solution.

Chie has to admit, it’s the most fun she’s had a festival in a long time. In previous years, it’s always just been her and Yukiko. She’s never had such a big group of friends before, she realises, and wonders if maybe that’s a little sad. Maybe she and Yukiko had become a little co-dependent over the years.

Yet, despite the laughing, the bickering, the silly conversations and the festival food, Chie can’t help but notice that Yukiko never quite stands beside her the whole evening, and her chest clenches.


	4. September

**September 9th**

It is beyond Chie how this happened.

Their drinks were not alcoholic. She and Yosuke stepped aside after Yukiko and Rise first started getting giggly, and after some sniffing, taste-testing, and interrogating the bar staff downstairs they confirm that no, they had not been served a single drop of alcohol between them. In fact, the bar was a totally dry bar – not a single item they serve was alcoholic.

They return upstairs, intending to tell them all the news, and it’s descended into even further chaos than they left it.

Teddie is shouting and gesturing with the King’s Game chopsticks, Yukiko has lapsed into hiccupping giggles, her hairband falling down over her eyes, and Souji is very pink in the face, his shirt unbuttoned and one sleeve sliding off his shoulder.

Kanji just sits with his face in his hands.

“Are you a pack of _imbeciles?_ ” Naoto says, trying to extract himself from Rise’s grasp

“You know. I’m starting to think we really are,” Chie says, glancing up at Yosuke. He looks as though he’s developing a headache.

“Ergh, no kidding…” he says, shaking his head.

Yukiko shifts into Souji’s lap, cuddling into him.

“Alright, that’s enough!” Yosuke snaps, sounding as annoyed as Chie suddenly feels, “We should get these idiots home before it gets even more out of hand.”

“Sheesh…” Chie says, watching as Teddie tries to get in on the cuddle-pile, “Are they just drunk off the atmosphere or something?”

“Who cares! Let’s just break this mess up before Yukiko-san babbles _more_ about the TV world,” Yosuke whines.

Although Chie has her doubts that Yosuke’s motivation is as noble as all that, she is only too happy to help him tear Souji and Yukiko apart.

 

“Chiiiie!”

“Yukiko, seriously, just walk properly…” Chie says, attempting to drag Yukiko back to their hotel room, Yukiko stumbling and hanging off her shoulders. Yosuke has already thrown Souji in bed and is attempting to figure out what to do with Teddie, and Kanji is still trying to drag Rise always from the hotel bar, so neither of them are able to help. Naoto is long gone. Chie can’t exactly blame him. The poor guy probably thinks they are the biggest idiots in Japan. He hadn’t exactly gotten the greatest impression of them tonight.

“C’mon, Yukiko, you’re heavy…”

“Chie! Are you callin’ me fat?” Yukiko says, suddenly sounding like Kanji.

“No, Yukiko, come on! I just mean, heavier than you used to be!” she says, “After all our time fighting Shadows, of course you’ve gained so muscle…”

“Mmm, but Chie. You’ve got the _most_ muscle,” Yukiko slurs, leaning her mouth against Chie’s ear and almost sending them both toppling to the floor, “You’re strong. You should just _carry_ me to bed.”

Chie wishes she wouldn’t phrase it like that.

“I mean, Souji-kun is pretty muscular now…but mm, I don’t know. You’re still the strongest. You have great abs,” Yukiko slurs, unaware of how loudly she was speaking, or the wide-eyed look Kanji was fixing them with.

“Yukiko –“

“You _do_ ,” she says, “They feel really good too…”

“Okay! Time for bed for you, missy!” Chie says, slapping Yukiko’s hand out from under her shirt. Yukiko pouts as Chie drags her bodily into the elevator, heading up to their room without as much as a goodbye to the other guys.

Chie opens the door (Yukiko is too useless at the moment to make use of a set of keys), and they step inside.

“Alright, I think I had a bottle of water around here somewhere,” she says, rummaging through her luggage and managing to dig out a lukewarm bottle of water, “Right! Okay…it’ll have to do. Yukiko, you should –“

Yukiko lunges for her, smashing their mouths together, hands gripping the front of Chie’s shirt. Chie drops the bottle of water, her hands sticking stupidly in the air for a second, until Yukiko finally pulls back.

“Mm, Chie, I really miss you,” she says, cupping Chie’s face in her hands, her cheeks flushed bright red. She tries to kiss her again and Chie places her hands on her shoulders, pushing her back.

“Yukiko, you’re drunk…I mean, sort of,” Chie says, “I just…I’m not sure if this is something we should do now.”

“But I wanna!” she whines, “I want to do…what I wanna do! But I don’t wanna make people who depend on my sad! And – and - so I’m trying to do what other people want me to do _and_ what people want me to do but I need to sacrifice some things to keep others! And I’m not gonna be able to kiss you after high school so why can’t I kiss you _now_!”

“Yukiko, you’re not making any sense!” she says, her cheeks growing hot. Yukiko is talking so loud. She hopes none of her classmates are on the rooms either side, or hanging out in the hallway.

Yukiko, suddenly overwrought, throws herself on the bed, her hands over her face.

“This isn’t _fair_ , Chie!” she says, and Chie can’t help but agree, yeah, you know what Yukiko, it isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that Yukiko kisses her sometimes and acts like she doesn’t exist others, it isn’t fair that they’re _not allowed_ to kiss after high school, because why, because Yukiko’s going to be engaged to some random guy at that point? None of it’s fair.

“I just, I’m choosing the inn, it’s what I want, it’s what I want, but then – then the inn can’t be run by the kind of girl that kisses girls! And you – you can’t…neither of us can keep - I need to - I – “ she says, and then bursts into noisy tears, rolling onto her stomach. Chie stares, horrified, and takes a few tentative steps towards her.

“Yukiko,”she says softly, resting a hand on her back, “I…”

Yukiko begins to snore.

“Well, that's typical,” Chie sighs.

 

**September 10th**

Of course Yukiko doesn’t remember a thing.

Of course she doesn’t.

 

**September 12th**

Chie definitely needs to talk to _somebody_ about this. She spent most of the night after she came home from the stupid field trip on the internet, browsing through stuff about girls who felt similarly.

A lot of people seem to just want her to wait, tell her it’s probably a phase she’ll grow out of. She doesn’t have to put a label on it now, she might meet a boy later.

It’s those kinds of thoughts, coupled with what Yukiko said going around and around in head, and a sneering voice that whispers ‘ _You did this to her’,_ that makes Chie leap out of bed, put on her running shoes, and sends her out into the rain.

She could talk to Souji about it. He’s always patient, never judgemental. He’ll listen, nod along as she complains about Yukiko and derides herself, would say just what she needs to feel better. She’d leave Souji’s house light on her feet, Tomoe thrumming in her chest, more together than ever.

She pauses on the road, the rain falling heavy on her, and turns away from the route that would lead her to the Dojima’s.

She doesn’t want to just feel _better_ about it, she decides. She needs to be challenged. By someone who would genuinely understand how she feels.

She can only think of one person fitting that description.

“S-Satonaka-san?” Yosuke’s father splutters, as he opens the door for her. She looks up at him, her hair dripping wetting and her shoes squelching under the soles of her feet.

“Is Yosuke home? I – I need to talk to him about an assignment we’ve been working on for class,” she says. Mr Hanamura looks at her, a little cynical, but shifts aside to let her in.

“Yosuke! You have a friend here!” he calls up the stairs. Within seconds, Yosuke and Teddie hurtle down the stairs, though Chie swears Yosuke’s face falls a little when he sees her.

“Huh? Chie?” Yosuke asks, numbly.

“Chie-chan! You came all this way to see lil old me?” Teddie says, flicking his hair and fluttering his eyelashes at her.

Damnit. She had kind of forgot about Teddie.

“Oh, uh, actually I need to talk to Yosuke about something?” she says, looking across Teddie at Yosuke. He looks baffled, and she has to wonder if this is the smartest thing she’s ever done.

“Uh, okay? Ted, how about you help Mom with dinner,” he says, glancing down at Teddie. To Chie’s surprise, Teddie looks delighted.

“Oooh, another chance to be alone with the lovely Mrs Hanamura?” he purrs, “A charming young boy from a far-away land, and the beautiful wife of the local department store king! Rrraaawr!”

“And cut that out!” Yosuke chides him, and then looks back at Chie, “Uh, I guess we’ll go to my room?”

“Right,” she says, and follows Yosuke up the stairs.

She’s never been in Yosuke’s room before. It’s more or less what she expected – a bunch of English CDs, posters of girls in bikinis, an electric guitar gathering dust by his desk, and Teddie’s clothes everywhere. What she didn’t expect was little kids toys scattered everywhere. Yosuke frowns and stoops as they enter, scooping up the toys and dumping them in a box in the closet.

“Urgh, sorry, I tell Teddie not to leave these things lying around…” he says, scowling, “Someone’s going to trip and break their neck on them one of these days.”

“Ha, wow? So, even with all the weird things Teddie says, he’s still just a little kid inside, huh?” she says, smiling. Yosuke rolls his eyes.

“You have no idea,” he says, and then looks around, “Uh. So. Can I get you a drink or…uh, I mean, do you want to sit down?”

He looks at the bed, and then seems to change his mind, and clears a spot on the floor for her to sit. She sits down on a pillow, cross-legged, and God, she wishes Yosuke wasn’t so awkward. It makes her feel more awkward by extension.

“I’m good, listen, Yosuke. I want to talk about something kind of sensitive with you, and I don’t want you to freak out,” she says.

“Uh, kind of sensitive…?” he says, looking outright frightened, “Since when are we the kind of friends that talk about things that are ‘kind of sensitive’ with each other? I mean, can’t you talk to Yukiko-san, or…”

“It’s about Yukiko, so no. And I think you might understand, you know. On a personal level,” she says. Yosuke blinks at her and then pulls over his computer chair, sitting down on it.

“Uh, okay, well, okay. I don’t get it, but I’ll listen.”

“Promise not to freak out!”

“What? Why would I –“

“ _Promise!_ Or I swear, the Trial of the Dragon incident will pale in comparison to the many pains I will inflict upon you.”

“Okay, okay, I promise! Jeez,” he says, “You know, you can be really scary. This is why boys never ask you out, you know!”

For a second, she considers just kicking him in the balls and calling it a day. She takes a calming breath. She needs to talk about this, damnit.

And frankly, so does he.

“Look, I – uh,” she says, and then clears her throat, “You know me and Yukiko are…close, right?”

“Yeees? I mean, you guys seem like you’ve been a little tense lately, but. Yeah. I’d have to be a _complete_ idiot to not notice you’re close, Chie,” he says, but there’s an uneasiness to his voice. Chie can’t help but think he already knows exactly what she’s thinking about – even if he’s not comfortable with admitting it to himself.

“Well, I think sometimes, we’re more than just…friends,” she says, and winces, expecting something nasty.

Yosuke doesn’t blurt out some insensitive crap like she’s expecting. He just tenses, looking at her he just told her some unpleasant news that he had been expecting yet hoping against.

“And we’ve been making out,” she says, deciding to deliver the killing blow, “A lot. Until Yukiko, kind of called it off.”

He’s silent for a long moment and then:

“What, so, she dumped you?”

Chie cringes.

“Yeah, kinda…” she says, “But I don’t think she wanted to. And I didn’t want her to. And I still – I still think I’m –“

She swallows thickly, unable to quite make herself say it.

“I still really like her,” she finishes instead, lamely, “And. I don’t think it’s a case of _just_ Yukiko, you know? I think. I think it’s more than that.”

Yosuke whistles, leaning back in his chair.

“Wow, that is – that is a lot to deal with, Chie,” he says, and she nods miserably. And then something clicks in his head, “Wait, what? Why did you think I’d understand that _on a personal level!_ Sh-shouldn’t you be talking to Kanji or something!?”

“Oh come on, Yosuke!”

“What!”

“You totally understand that on a personal level!”

“I do not!”

“Oh, come on!” Chie says, “You’ve been mooning over Souji-kun for _months_.”

“ _What?”_

Chie rolls her eyes and drops her voice into an awful impression of Yosuke’s voice.

“‘Oh, partner, you look like you’re so good with your hands’, ‘Man, partner, you always look so cool’ –“

“Okay, I do _not_ sound like that.”

“And you get all tetchy whenever Rise cuddles up to him!”

“What are you talking about!” he says, “I’m a _Risette_ fan, of course I get –“

“Like that’s the only time you get all weird and jealous! And whenever he brings you lunch you get all _gooey_ ,” she says, “And, Kou and Daisuke said you once called them out of the blue to hang out with you and Souji so ‘It didn’t look like a date’. You don’t even hang out with Kou and Daisuke!”

Yosuke leaps to his feet, and Chie leaps to her own as well, ready to physically fight him if need be.

“C’mon, _everyone_ knows I want a girlfriend!” Yosuke snaps, “You’ve called me a pervert yourself before!”

“Ha! Right! Have you noticed that you only do that when Souji and Kanji are around?” she says, jabbing a finger in his chest, “Like, if it’s just you or even you and Teddie, you’re actually tolerable. Then when those two are around, you’re suddenly making creepy comments and forcing us into stupid swimsuits and stuff! And you look back at them the whole time, like you want them to tell you how _cool_ you are! You’ve not even paying _attention_ to the people you’re sexually harassing!”

“I do not do that!” he says, “And it – it’s not sexual harassment! That’s harsh, Chie.”

“Yeah you do!” she snarls, “And yes, it is! And listen, you practically flirt with Souji _all the time_ , it’s so _awkward_. You’re just lucky he’s oblivious about that kind of thing!”

“Oh, whatever, at least I’m not making out with Souji and getting all sulky when he moves on,” he snaps, “You know what, Chie, girls your age _do_ this sometimes. It’s probably just a dumb phase, but you’re getting all worked up about it and taking it out on me!”

“What!” she snaps.

“And look, come on!” Yosuke splutters, his voice reaching a pitch she’s never heard before, and he gestures frantically at the posters of scantily clad girls on his walls, “Come – come on!”

“You know what, fine!” Chie bellows, and pulls her top off over her head. Yosuke balks, his legs hitting the edge of his bed as he stumbles backwards.

“Woah – what are you –“

Chie throws her shirt to the floor with a soft _thump_ , and then grabs Yosuke’s collar.

“Fine, you know what, if this is a stupid _phase_ , and you’re just this super macho straight guy, then let’s go! Right now!” she says, and distantly, some part of her is screaming that she’s completely lost her mind. She’s too pissed off and has too much to prove to listen.

“You – you can’t be serious, you’re insane!”

“Oh, what, I’m sorry, I though you were _desperate_ for a girlfriend,” she says, and for a second she hears her Shadow’s voice in her own, sneering and superior. Yosuke glares at her.

“You know what, fine!” he says, unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it aside.

“Fine!” she shouts, and tackles him onto the bed, catching his mouth in a clack of teeth, their limbs falling at random around each other.

There’s weird amount of saliva on her end, and Yosuke’s lips are too dry and too thin, and her boobs are just kind of shoved against his flat chest, and she doesn’t know what to do with her arms. His arms are just lying rigid by his sides, and they can’t seem to get their legs in a comfortable position. They’re hanging off the bed so Chie tries to sort of angle them onto it properly, and then his tongue just sort of rams against her upper teeth and –

They pull apart, Chie looking down at him and vaguely wishing for mouthwash. Yosuke squints up at him, wiping his mouth with the back of his palm. For a second, neither of them say anything.

“That was…” Yosuke begins.

“That was…that was horrible,” Chie says.

“That was _awful_ ,” Yosuke says, looking so completely horrified that Chie can’t help it. She starts to laugh, rolling off him and flopping onto her back beside him, cackling into her hands.

“Hey, hey, you don’t need to _laugh_ about it!” he says, but his voice is cracking too.

“I’m sorry, that was just – that was just so bad! Ahahahaha!” she says.

“Yeah, it – it really wasn’t good,” he says, sniggering.

“That was just, wrong, dude. On so many levels,” she wheezes, and then lies flat on her back, staring up at Yosuke’s ceiling. She sighs, “We’re gay, Yosuke.”

“Hey, what – that’s – I mean maybe _you_ are,” he says, “Don’t bring me into this.”

“We’re _gay_ ,” she repeats, feeling slightly hysterical.

“ _You’re_ gay,” he replies, frowning. Chie tilts her head to look at him.

“Oh sure, it’s just me,” she says, looking at his mortified expression, as though Chie has horribly violated him. A thought occurs to her, “Hold on. Was that, um. Was that your first –“

“No!” Yosuke splutters, flushing red, “Of course not!”

“Wow, that was convincing.”

“It wasn’t! I mean, thank God because that was so bad it’d probably put me off kissing anyone for the rest of my life,” he says, “I had girlfriends in the city, you know.””

She raises her eyebrows at him.

“Okay. A girlfriend,” he amends.

She gives him a strained smile.

“…For three weeks,” he admits, “It kinda sucked. For the first two weeks all she wanted to do was make out.”

“What happened in the third week?” she asks. She can’t help but wonder if this is the first time she and Yosuke have ever talked about anything beyond action flicks and the investigation. It may well be.

“Uh, I kind of started avoiding her, so she dumped me,” he says, “Look, she was a really bad kisser, and I couldn’t figure out how to tell her!”

“A really bad kisser?” she asks, “What’d she do?”

“I don’t know! Just every time we made out I was just sort of like. Bored, I guess? I was always just waiting for her to finish so I could go do something else. Like sometimes I’d even open my eyes just so I could check the time,” he says, shaking his head, “Okay, maybe it wasn’t anything she _did_ , but…”

He trails off, looking at the expression on her face, and then groans, covering his face with his hands.

“We’re gay,” Chie repeats.

“No, shut up! You’re getting way ahead of yourself! Don’t you think that’s kind of jumping to conclusions?” he snaps, “Maybe it’s just you and me! Maybe it’s just her! Maybe we’re just a bit stressed from the case, or – or! Rrgh!”

Chie sighs and props herself up on her elbow.

“Okay, you know what,” she says, jabbing a finger in his face, “Let’s imagine Souji in his underwear.”

“I’m sorry, _what_?” he says, slapping her hand away.

“Just do it!” she snaps, “Listen, when I try to imagine Souji in his underwear, you know what I picture?”

“Do I wanna know?” he mutters.

“Just Souji in his underwear. That’s it,” she says, and pauses, “Maybe he’s eating, like, a week-old melon pan he found at the back of the fridge or something. And you know what? The longer I imagine it, the more I imagine myself wandering in, throwing his clothes at him and telling him to get dressed!”

“Huh…”

“So. What do you think of?” she says, maybe a little more slyly than she needs to.

“Huh, what?” Yosuke says, blinking, “What’d you say?”

“See what I mean, you weren’t even listening to me!”

“I – I –“ he stutters, rolls onto his side, hand over half of his face, “I think I owe Kanji an apology.”

“A _lot_ of apologies,” Chie amends, and giggles, still not feeling entirely sane, “We’re gay.”

“We’re _gay_.”

“We _are_ gay.”

“ _We’re_ gay.”

Chie thinks this could probably go on for a very long time.

“Chie-chan, Yosuke, dinner’s – woah!” Teddie squawks, as he opens the door. They both sit upright, suddenly remembering that they’re in a very compromising position together, and scramble for something to say.

“Wow, is this _scoring_? Are you two scoring with each other? Oh, oh, can I join in?” Teddie says, and then, before they can stop him, starts pulling off his shirt and attempts to get into bed with them.

 

“So what are you going to do?” Yosuke asks her later, as she’s ready to jog back home, her belly full of Mrs Hanamura and Teddie’s cooking.

“…I dunno, what about you?”

“Uh, nothing? I think nothing is the best thing I could do,” he says, folding his arms and looking miserable all of a sudden, “And let’s face it, it might be the best thing for both of us to do.”

Logically, yes, Chie thinks.

After all, people like them didn’t get an easy ride. Logically, the best thing to do would be to keep it to themselves. Keep it quiet, and secret, and safe, and hope for the best. Hope it never gets dragged out, or, maybe, by the time it does, the world has changed enough that there’s now a place for you.

That was the safest, most logical way to deal with it.

Logic had never really been Chie’s thing.

“I’m not so sure,” she says, shoving her hands into her pockets, “Just because I don’t know what I’m going to do right now doesn’t mean I’m doing to do _nothing_ about it. You shouldn’t hide away from it either! I mean don’t we, of all people, know how important it is to accept yourself and all that junk?”

“…Right,” Yosuke says, holding onto his upper arm and looking away from her. Chie has never hugged him before, and she’s not about to start, but damn if she isn’t tempted when he looks _this_ pathetic.

Screw it.

“Hey, woah, what?”

“I’m not going to make a habit of this,” she says, and gives him a firm couple of slaps on the back before releasing him.

“Right, whatever,” he says, embarrassed, and then looks out at the pouring rain, “Hey, Chie. Remember to watch the Midnight Channel tonight.”

“What, why? We caught the killer, Yosuke, it’s over,” she says, blinking.

“…Yeah, you’d think, but I dunno. There’s some things that still don’t add up and…I have a weird feeling it’s not over at all,” he replies, looking up at the heavy grey clouds covering Inaba, “Just watch it, okay?”

“Alright, alright, sheesh,” she says.

“Chie-chan! Take this umbrella, it’s _bear-y_ wet out there!” Teddie says, rushing out of the living room to say goodbye. She accepts the umbrella with a smile.

“Thank you, Teddie. Alright, I’ll see you guys at school…” she says, and heads out into the rain.

She’s not sure she feels better, exactly, but she feels as though the world is steadier beneath her feet. Tomoe, still flickering and weak, feels more whole in her heart.

 

**September 17th**

Looking up at Naoto’s secret base, Chie really wishes that Yosuke hadn’t been so right about this one.

It’s all so far from over.

She glances at Yukiko, doing her breathing exercises, her eyes closed, eyelashes casting long shadows across her cheekbones. Her heart does a weird little jig.

She’s always so focused when on a rescue mission. Chie should be, too.

“Let’s go, Tomoe,” she whispers.

 

**September 22nd**

Yukiko was working harder at the inn than ever, as though she was trying to make up for almost leaving. And she wasn’t letting up inside the TV either – she and Amaterasu were unstoppable, wielding flame with every stroke of her fan, and casting stronger and stronger spells every day.

Meanwhile, Chie was still lagging behind, despite her new resolve. Tomoe was stronger than she had been, before Chie had managed to accept that part of herself, but she still felt slow and stunted, like her Persona was lagging further and further behind the others every single day.

Why wasn’t Yukiko struggling? That night at Tatsumi Port Island, she’d seemed so conflicted, so desperate and lost – shouldn’t that cross over into her Persona as well?

She’s jealous, again.

She wishes she wasn’t like this.

She wishes she could find the courage to _talk_ to Yukiko, properly. Not just about the case, or about the silly things they chatted about in class and browsing Junes together, but about each other and themselves and the inn and all the big elephants and sat between them.

“Chie?”

Chie looks up, and sees Souji standing above her desk. He lifts a package in front of her – it looked like one of his famous home-made lunches. It had been a while since he’d invited her to share one with him.

“Want to eat lunch together?” he asks.

“O-oh,” she stutters, “Yeah, sure. On the roof?”

He nods and smiles.

 

Souji’s tonkatsu is delicious. Better than Aiya’s, Chie thinks. She tells him as much and he smiles, hunching his shoulders like he always does when he’s embarrassed, tucking his chin into his goofy popped collar.

“You should really make these for all of us,” she says, “We need our strength now we’re going into the TV again!”

“I make you all lunch if we’re going to the TV all day. I’d like to do it more often,” Souji replies, utterly literal, as though it’s completely reasonable for Chie to demand he make lunch for seven people every day, “But Dojima said it’s too expensive to make you all lunch all the time.”

“I – oh, jeez, I didn’t mean it. It’s kind of above and beyond you do as much as you do for us,” she says.

“You think?” he says, frowning.

“Of course!” she says, “I mean, sheesh, you listen to all of us, and you guide us in the TV, and that’s between your billion-and-one part time jobs and all your other friends. I don’t know how you do it, honestly. Just school and the investigation is more than I can handle.”

“Well…” he says, and trails off, tapping his lower lip with his chopsticks, “I’m not sure. It’s all a lot of fun, so I don’t mind doing it.”

“And you only have so long here, too, huh?” Chie says, and immediately wants to hit herself for it. Souji’s eyes widen for a second, and then, to his surprise, he nods and laughs. A low little chuckle that sounds nothing like Yukiko’s weird hyena cackle.

Chie misses her a lot, lately. Which is crazy. Because they still hang out. It’s just different to how it was, before the murders, and even after they rescued Kanji. Their new relationship feels like they’re both holding so much back, and Chie sometimes can’t shake the fear it’s just going to stay like that.

Are they going to be like those girls that fool around together in high school and middle school, and then drift apart, into separate lives, where they both have husbands and kids and little houses in Inaba? Will they only see each other in Junes, shopping for groceries while their kids are at school and their husbands at work, nodding at each other, a little embarrassed over how silly they used to be?

The thought makes Chie feel sick.

“Are you okay?” Souji asks.

“Oh! Uh,” she says, “I don’t know. Did Yosuke say anything?”

“Teddie says you two scored,” he says, so bluntly that Chie chokes on her rice and almost shoves her chopstick up her nose. She looks at him, trying to read _some_ emotion in that deadpan little line, and his flat expression. Was he jealous? Was that the kind of thing she should be looking out for, for Yosuke’s sake?

“That’s – alright, that was a big misunderstanding!” she splutters, and it was! Sort of! She definitely doesn’t think _that_ fiasco counted as ‘scoring’, for one. Souji just shrugs, as though it doesn’t concern him at all, but she swears he looks a little more stiff and tense than usual. Maybe she’s just desperately trying to read into it.

“Well, okay, I’ve been – I feel like Yukiko’s been a little distant lately,” she says, “I still haven’t told her how I feel. About the inn, I mean.”

“It’s a delicate topic,” Souji says, nodding.

“And, you know, it turns out we’re back to square one with the investigation, and need to save poor Naoto-kun, and you know! There’s a lot on my mind!” she says, very quickly, “And let’s face it, there’s not a lot of room in there, ha ha ha!”

Souji looks disappointed.

“Is she still dead-set on staying with the inn?” she says, before he can scold her for being self-depreciating. He thins for a moment, tapping the end of his chopsticks against his lower lip.

“I think she thinks she wants to,” he says.

“Urgh! What kind of answer is that!”

“I just think this may be about more than the inn,” he says, “For both of you.”

“Urgh! I knew it!” she snaps. She shouldn’t have expected Yosuke to keep what she told him secret, “Yosuke did talk to you!”

He stares at her.

“Yes? Yosuke talks to me all the time,” he says blankly, “It just seems like you are both a little cut off from us, and from each other lately. I…don’t like to interfere –“ Chie snorts. “- but it’s throwing off your performance in battle, for both of you.”

“Both of us!” Chie squawks, “What? Yukiko’s _perfect_. I’m the only who’s screwing up!”

“You’re both doing well, but not as well as you could,” he says vaguely, “It’s fairly obvious.”

Chie looks at him cynically as he eats his last mouthful of rice.

“Just watch her next time we’re in battle,” he says.

“…I always do,” she mutters.

Which is maybe half the problem.

 

**September 24th**

Souji is right, Chie realises.

Her magic is unbelievably powerful, waves of heat that makes the air ripple and Shadows melt and twist. She swings her fan with enormous force, hurtling it into Shadows over and over, fast brutal movements that make her whole body swing. She’s amazing, brutal.

She’s also imprecise – missing often with her fan, firing her magic in so wide an arc it occasionally catches members of the team. Chie has to yelp and jump out of the way more often than she used to, and Kanji once gets blown back so far by a stray Agidyne that Yosuke needs to rush over to revive him.

And she neglects her healing spells far too often. Yukiko used to be so attentive, casting Dia and Medias at just the right moment, before anyone really needed to suffer so much. Now, Souji needs to give her an order before she will, or Rise needs to sharply remind them for healing. And maybe Chie is imagining it, but they don’t feel as strong as they used to – less like sinking into the hot spring on a cold day, more like taking a shower in lukewarm water.

In a twisted way, it makes her feel better. Less like Yukiko is someone untouchable and perfect.

Then again, this means Souji is right. Especially with Kanji stressed about Naoto, Yosuke trapped in his own head, she should resolve this as quickly as she can.

Yet when they emerge out the TV, battered and tired with so much of Naoto’s mind left to fight through, Yukiko rushes away to get back to business at the inn before Chie can squeak out a single word.

Yosuke only gives her a little shrug, and busies himself with helping Teddie out of his costume.


	5. October

**October 3rd**

Naoto’s revelation has them all reeling. Chie expects Kanji to be too thrown off to fight, but he only seems more determined.

It doesn’t take long for them to defeat Naoto’s Shadow, with Kanji more determined and deadly than ever, and with Yosuke’s new Persona Susano-O backing them up. Whatever clumsiness Yukiko and Chie may have between them, Chie knows the others are going to back them up.

Eventually the Shadow yields, its monstrous form falling apart, leaving only the child in the labcoat, and Naoto to face it.

Looking at Naoto, half-conscious on the floor, Chie isn’t sure what to make of him – or her – or them. She isn’t sure any of them are – it feels like everything is only becoming more complicated, the more they attempt to pursue the truth. Like the fog is becoming thicker.

“So Naoto-kun was Naoto-chan all along, huh?” Rise says, absently, as Naoto sits up, still dazed.

“Hey, hold on!” Chie blurts out, at the same time Yosuke snaps ‘Give Naoto-san a second!’. The others stare at them, Naoto included, with the exception of Kanji, who bites his lower lip. They both fidget and look at each other, and Chie wonders if he’s been spending as much time on the same kind of webpages she has.

Naoto breathes in, and stands.

“Regardless of that particular issue…I believe there is more than that I need to deal with,” Naoto says, and then turns to face the Shadow. With a few calm words, that tiny boy in the labcoat falls apart and Sukuno-Hikona emerges, tiny but swift and sharp.

 

**October 16th**

With Naoto in the group, their little friendship circle has really exploded. Although Chie can’t help but think that the addition of a tiny teen detective of debatable gender has truly cemented their position as the town weirdos.

Still, she thinks, looking around at her friends, assembled together to study for mid-terms, all laughing and chattering, it’s nice.

“Hmhm, Yosuke-san and Chie-san seem to get along well,” Naoto comments, as she and Yosuke bicker over melon sodas.

“You two do seem like you’ve gotten closer lately,” Souji comments, very stiff, giving them both an inquisitive glance. Rise claps her hands in front of her face, looking between them with a dangerous smile.

“Oooh! Then why don’t you two _date_?” she purrs.

Neither Chie nor Yosuke know how to explain why Chie bursts out laughing, or why Yosuke goes faintly green.

 

**October 20th**

Chie has always liked to run. Even if it always makes Inaba feel even smaller than it already does, she loves the feeling of getting stronger. Every run around the town becomes faster, leaves her feeling less tired afterwards. When she was younger, she would always imagine she was training for some big epic battle to save the world.

(Or some big epic battle to save Yukiko from the inn.)

She does it more than usual, lately. It clears her head. And since she and Yosuke became, in a weird way, proper friends, he’s been sharing a lot of his music with her. She sees why he always has his headphones on in the TV – it does make it a lot easier to focus.

As soon as she comes home from her last day of exams, sure she’s bombed again, Chie changes into her running gear and hits the pavement, determined to lose herself in the easy rhythm of her run. Doing that, she could push out all her thoughts of the killer still running loose in Inaba, the grades rapidly slipping out of her grip, and of all the nasty, selfish little thoughts that still keep her up late at night.

Yet even running with her music turned up to full volume, paying no attention to anything but the path in front of her and stars above her, she doesn’t miss the sight of Yukiko in her kimono, under the gazebo on the Samegawa Floodplain, her shoulders shaking, one hand on her face.

Chie stops, pulls out her earbuds and tucks them into the collar of her shirt. Yukiko doesn’t even notice her approach.

“Yukiko?” she says.

Yukiko jumps, and wipes her face with her sleeve.

“Oh, Chie, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you,” she says, taking a deep breath, “I just came here for a little break. The inn has been very busy recently – strangely, the murders have actually been good for business. I can’t say I don’t find it a little morbid, but -”

“Don’t do that,” Chie snaps. Yukiko looks up at her, that placid little face she reserves for the inn guests gone.

“Do what?” she says tersely.

“Pretend everything’s okay when it isn’t,” Chie replies, and sits next to her. She expects Yukiko to deny it, but instead she just rubs her eyes, breathing in deeply through her nose.

“I’m just a little stressed,” she says, quietly, as if trying to convince herself.

“Are you sure about that?”

“…No,” she says, looking out at the river, “It’s pathetic. I’ve been working at the inn for as long as I can remember. Yet every time it gets busy lately, I fall apart as though I’m a little girl doing my first day of work.”

She sniffs, rubbing her face on her sleeve again.

“I need to get stronger,” she says, echoing something Chie has said so many times, so closely that it makes something ache in her chest.

“Yukiko…” she says, and wishes she had Souji’s gift for saying just the right thing, succinctly and so quietly it’s like he barely spoke at all, or Rise’s bubbly enthusiasm, or Kanji’s ability to say something brutal yet inspiring all at once. Or even Yosuke’s gift for babbling away until he got to the right words.

But she isn’t any of them – she’s only herself, this awkward, grubby girl who likes action flicks, who can’t apply eyeliner without making a mess of herself, and spent her time kicking imaginary monsters at the riverside, never knowing one day she’d spend her time kicking real ones. She has to do her best with that.

“I feel like that too, you know,” she says, and it’s so clumsy and weird, and poor Yukiko can probably barely tell what she’s talking about. She swallows, and pushes on regardless, “Like I need to be stronger. I feel like that all the time.”

“You _are_ strong, Chie,” Yukiko says, with no hesitation at all, and Chie has to laugh. She doesn’t understand half of how weak Chie really is. She never even saw her Shadow, and Chie never even told her, not in detail, not as much as she deserved.

“I’m not, I act strong but. Yukiko, you deal with so much by yourself, and you’re always thinking about other people. You’re stronger than me, by a mile,” she says. Yukiko smiles at her, very red-eyed, and Chie doesn’t think, she just leans forward and brushes some hair from Yukiko’s face. Yukiko stiffens, still smiling, but her face is so tense.

“I’m really not,” she says, looking down at her lap, “Chie, if I don’t get stronger, I’ll fail my entire family. I’ll fail the whole town. I need to be able to follow through on this decision. I’ve made it.”

“Maybe it’s the wrong one.”

Yukiko moves away from her, scowling, and Chie could kick herself.

“Chie, this again?”

“I – I’m not going to tell you what to do,” she babbles, “I just want to tell you what I think, okay? But even if you disagree, and want to do something else, I’ll support you, alright?”

It looks as though Yukiko relaxes, but Chie can’t be sure. It’s dark, and her head is buzzing, and every time she’s alone with Yukiko lately it’s hard to focus – she just keeps thinking about how pretty her hands are, the way her dark hair tucks behind her ear, and then she feels _guilty_ for thinking that. She can’t just pretend it’s just a girl appreciating another girl’s looks, or even being jealous of how pretty she was. It was more than that.

And she can’t help but feel there’s something dirty about it. Something revolting that Yukiko would see, on Chie’s face or eyes or something like that _somehow_ , and would leave her feeling dirtied and wronged.

She swallows, focuses just on what she wants to say, each word squeezed out as carefully as she could.

“I. I just think staying at the inn isn’t the choice that will make you happy in the long-term, Yukiko,” she says rapidly, not looking at Yukiko’s expression, “You spent so long wanting to escape it, and then you turned back on the idea so fast, going straight back to the inn.”

Yukiko says nothing.

“And, I dunno, it feels like you did that just because you were scared of going into something unknown. And guilty because the people at the inn are all so good and nice but. I don’t think you’ll be happy, Yukiko.”

She risks a glance at Yukiko’s face, expecting to see anger or maybe hurt, but she just looks blank. She looks so tired, Chie realises. She’s probably been so tired so much recently, and Chie hasn’t even noticed.

“I don’t think you’re, you know, being true to yourself staying at the inn,” she says, and winces at how she sounds. How come Souji says that sort of thing and it doesn’t sound totally lame? Or, at least, not as lame as that.

She looks at Yukiko, wishing she would say something. Even if it was just to yell at her. After a long while, Yukiko speaks, and it’s not what Chie expects:

“What are you going to do?”

“Huh?”

“After high school, Chie, what are you going to do?” she says, looking Chie in the eye. Chie feels her face heat up.

“Oh, uh. I’m not totally sure yet,” she says, and it’s embarrassing, really, that she’s been thinking about Yukiko’s future more than her own, “I. I dunno. I want to protect people, I guess? I’m not sure how to do that.”

Yukiko, she wants to protect Yukiko. Lots of other people, too, but Yukiko’s still the one she wants to protect most.

_Or do you want to control her?_ her Shadow whispers softly. Its voice is quieter than it used to be, weaker, but it’s still there. Sometimes Chie thinks it will always be there.

Yukiko doesn’t seem to react, just looks at her carefully, and then back at her own hands, clasped together in her lap.

“I see,” she says finally.

“It’s…kind of a lot to think about,” Chie admits, “I’ve been so caught up in the case, and trying to get stronger and –“ And you, she doesn’t say. “Well, I guess I haven’t put much thought into my future! That’s something I should really try to think about, huh?”

“It’s a scary thing to think about,” Yukiko says, still not looking at her, “I thought about it so much, and the more I thought about it, the more all these options opened up to me. And at first you get so excited, and then you realise how much there is, and how small you are. You look more closely, and everything’s so complicated, so difficult and scary, and so many people fail. And then you think. Maybe I should just stick to what I know. If someone’s laid out your whole life for you, maybe it’s selfish to turn away from it to walk into the unknown.”

Yukiko’s voice cracks, and Chie tries to wrap an arm around her, but she jerks away and stands up.

“Well, you know, I –“ Chie blurts out, and then stands up herself, “I’m going to work out what I’m going to do. I’m going to find something that I’m good at, that helps me protect people. And I’m going to work out exactly how to do it!”

Yukiko stares at her, and then her mouth twitches.

“Pffft.”

“Hey –“

“Ahahahahaha! Chie, y-you looked so serious there!” she says, and squawks, doubling over as another laughing foot took hold.

“I am serious!” Chie protests, her face burning. Yukiko slaps her knee.

“I know, pffft, ahahahaha, it’s just, you sounded like a manga chara-chara-ahahha!” Yukiko squeals.

“Urgh, jeez. Well, I guess I’m glad I cheered you up,” she says, sighing as Yukiko desperately tries to calm herself down.

“You – you did, Chie. You always do,” she says, looking at her, her eyes still red and her smile still a little weak and watery, “I really miss you lately.”

“I…yeah, me too,” Chie replies, “So are you. About the inn…”

“Chie,” Yukiko says, her face falling as she looks away, “I don’t know.”

“You’re so smart, Yukiko. You could do anything you wanted,” she says. Yukiko sighs and looks away, pressing one hand to her chest.

“I’m not so sure…I’m trying so hard not to be useless by myself but…” she says, “When Amaterasu emerged, I felt as though I’d finally changed, and for once I was making my own decisions. Yet lately it feels like I’m right back where I started. Like I’m just going around in circles.”

“Yeah, I get that,” she says, and then, “And Yukiko, um. So. Have you been thinking about me – us, lately?”

Yukiko looks at her, her mouth drawn tight and her shoulders tense.

“Yes,” she says, “But, I still need to think about it some more, okay?”

Chie nods. As much as she wants an answer, she’s willing to give Yukiko however long she needs.

 

**October 22nd**

“...A group date café,” Chie says, glaring up at Yosuke. He buries his face in his hands.

“I don’t _know_ , okay,” he says, “I didn’t think it would win. I just. I don’t know. I thought it’d be funny. And, I don’t know. I felt a bit weird when I put the idea in, okay. I was having kind of a freak-out.”

“You’re an idiot,” she says, glancing up and down the hallway to check nobody’s going to overhear them, and leans forward to hiss at him, “You know it’s going to be boy-girl pairings, right?”

“I _know_!” he snaps, “I’m not an idiot. That was kind of the idea, I thought maybe it’d be a good way for me to…you know…try to talk to girls or something? Like that’d…”

Yosuke trails off. If she wasn’t so pissed about needing to organise this stupid date café, Chie would feel sorry for him.

“Well, way to go. You’ve made this really awkward for both of us,” she says, hands on her hips, “Next time you’re going to do something dumb because you’re having a weird panic, how about texting me beforehand?”

“Oh come on, how often do I do this?”

Chie glares.

“…Okay, fine.”

 

**October 26th**

_From: Yosuke Hanamura  
wudnt it b funny if some1 entered u n the grlz in the beauty pagent_

_I’ll kill u. I’ll literally kill u._

_omg it woz just a joke_

_Yosuke, take our names off the list or I’ll sign u up 4 the crossdressing pagent._  
All of u.  
I’m sure Kanji will understand and won’t kick ur ass at all.

_omg omg_ _ok fine im takin dem off!!! jeez!!!_

 

**October 28th**

Teddie and Souji sign themselves up for the crossdressing pageant anyway. Because that’s just the kind of people they are.

 

**October 30th**

“Aww, I wanted Senpai to win,” Rise says. They decided to skip out on watching Hanako and Kashiwagi battle it out over the stupid beauty pageant, instead opting to hang out in their abandoned group date café. Chie can only assume nobody will notice the absence of their honorary judge.

“Rise-chan! Are you denying my beauty?” Teddie says, flicking his hair. Chie has no idea where Naoto got that wig from, or that lipgloss, but she has to admit, Teddie-ko is pretty cute. Even if she has about as much an ability to shut up as regular old Teddie.

“No, but look at senpai’s pigtails!” Rise says, toying with Souji’s braids, “They’re so cute. And don’t you think the tough girl look has more of a unique appeal? I think I’d rather date a girl like that than someone cute like Teddie.”

“Hm…maybe…” Yukiko mutters to herself, and then flushes very red, “I mean, I don’t know!”

“The people like what they like, Rise-san,” Souji says, shrugging and crossing his legs, “Besides, I haven’t worn a skirt in a while. Maybe I’m out of practice.”

“Haven’t worn…” Naoto says.

“A skirt…” Kanji mutters.

“In a while?” Rise finishes, blinking. Souji shrugs and takes a sip of his tea.

“Wore them now and then when I lived in the city,” he says, as though that was the easiest thing in the world to admit to. Yosuke looks as though he’s about to have a stroke.

“Well…I suppose that explains why you signed yourself up,” Chie says.

“Oooh, I want to see some of your old city looks, senpai!” Rise says, grabbing onto Souji’s arm.

“I do have photos…” Souji mutters.

“Ok, that’s enough, will you guys change back to your normal clothes! Please!” Yosuke shouts.

 

It’s been a long while since Chie stayed at the Amagi Inn for the night. With Rise, Nanako, and Naoto with them, it feels mildly less awkward to share a room with Yukiko than she anticipated.

Mildly.

And she was almost glad when the boys barged into the hot springs. At least throwing a wash-pan at Kanji’s head took her mind off the fact she was mere feet from a butt-naked Yukiko Amagi (and a butt-naked Rise Kujikawa, at that).

“I can’t believe they just barged in like that,” Rise says, as they settle into their room, pouring them tea. Across the room, Naoto scrambles back into their bind and emerges, wearing the hakama usually reserved for male guests. Chie looks at them, frowning, but decides not to press the issue. She’s not sure how exactly to ask what the deal is, exactly, but she feels a little guilty with the fact nobody has, yet, really.

“Well, it was their turn in the hot springs,” Yukiko says, laughing, “I do feel a little bad for them.”

“We threw some really heavy stuff at them,” Nanako says, frowning, “Are you sure they’re okay?”

Rise giggles and throws an arm around Nanako’s shoulders.

“They’re boys, Nanako-chan! They’re fine, their skulls are really thick,” she says.

“Is that how it works?” Nanako asks, prompting an outright nonsensical discussion between Rise and Yukiko about the differences between men and women. Chie catches Naoto’s eye, and shakes her head.

As night falls, Chie’s phone buzzes on the table. She picks it up and flips it open.

_From: Souji Seta  
There’s ghosts in our room, can we sleep in yours?_

…Well, she has to admit. She hadn’t been expecting that.

“Boys are idiots,” she says, showing the others the text.

“Oooh, so they’re in _that_ room,” Yukiko says, “I’ve always wanted to stay in there! Should we swap with them?”

“What, no! No way!” Chie splutters.

“Oh no, is big bro scared?” Nanako says, “He really doesn’t like that kind of thing…”

“Wait, really?” Rise asks, blinking at her.

“Yeah, he always cuddles me if there’s something a little spooky on the TV!” she replies brightly, “The other day we were watching Pinocchio, and when all the boys were turning into donkeys, he got all nervous and suddenly got up to make us some hot chocolate…”

They stare at her.

“…I feel like I’m becoming a little disillusioned with senpai lately…” Rise mutters.

“He’s pretty different to the way he seems on the outside,” Chie agrees.

“Is this how my fans felt when they got to know me properly…?” she replies quietly, lost in her own thoughts.

“We should take them in. Big bro always lets me sleep in his room if I’m scared,” Nanako says, with a stubborn little jut of her chin that lets them know she’s accepting no argument on the matter.

 

With the boys in their room with them, Chie finds herself squashed up on Yukiko’s futon with her. Stupidly, despite the sound of Kanji snoring, and the feeling of Rise’s back pressed against hers, Chie finds herself getting flustered.

Just go to sleep, she tells herself. Don’t be an idiot. It’s Yukiko. She presses her eyes closed and tries to steady her breathing.

“Chie. Are you awake?”

She feels Yukiko take her hands under the covers. She opens her eyes and finds Yukiko staring at her.

“Yeah,” she mutters quietly back, “Are you okay?”

Yukiko squeezes her hands.

“It’s kind of fun, isn’t it? All of us in here together,” she mutters. Chie smiles.

“Yeah, it really is. We’re kind of a ragtag group, though, huh?” she says. Yukiko laughs, and presses her free hand into her mouth to muffle the noise. Chie sniggers and lets her head drop forward, her forehead resting against Yukiko’s.

“A ragtag group…that’s true,” she says, and then breathes out, her face falling, “You know. It’s times like these when I most want to stay in Inaba. Not because of the inn, really. Just because it’s where we all are.”

“Yeah,” Chie says. She thinks about leaving Inaba all the time, going to the big city for college, or maybe even China to practice her kung-fu. Vague plans, but always plans that involve leaving Inaba. Yet when they’re all goofing off together, she doesn’t even want to leave high school, really.

“But Souji-kun’s leaving at the end of the year anyway, and Naoto-kun will probably get another case after the murders are resolved and need to leave too,” Yukiko mutters, “And then we’ll all be studying for our entrance exams, and then people will start to move away.”

“We could all go to the same city for college,” Chie says, but she knows it’s a little unlikely. For one thing, Souji, Naoto and Yukiko were bound to be able to get into the best universities in the country. She doubts the rest of them would be able to manage as much. Yukiko hums, rubbing the pad of her thumb on the back of Chie’s hand.

“You know, maybe I _should_ take over the inn. I could hire you all,” Yukiko says, giggling, her legs kicking under the blanket.

“Sssh, Yukiko, you’re so loud.”

“Rise and Teddie can do front of house, and we could put Souji in the kitchen. Kanji can make little souvenirs for the gift shop. Naoto can do the accounts,” she says, shoulders shaking.

“Yukiko…”

“Yosuke can be the delivery boy,” she squeaks. Chie bites down on her lip.

“And he – he can do tours of Inaba on his scooter, pbbbthh ahahaha…”

“Yukiko, sssh, you’re going to wake everyone up,” Chie whispers, desperately trying to smother her own laughter as Yukiko cackles into her hands. Chie shakes her head.

“What about me, anyway?” she asks.

“Hm?”

“What would I be, at the inn?”

Yukiko regards her coyly, a little smile on her face that makes a shiver run down Chie’s spine.

“I don’t know,” she says, “What do you want to be?”

Yukiko’s face is very close, and she feels so warm, and she smells of green tea and soap. Chie doesn’t even want to breathe too hard in case she breaks the moment.

Kanji lets out a huge honking snore.

They both burst into giggle fits, shushing one another uselessly, and Chie releases her hands.

“We should sleep,” she says quietly. Yukiko nods, mumbling her agreement, and turns onto her side, her back facing Chie. Chie watches her back, thinking about Yukiko’s goofy little image of them all running the inn together, and suddenly she really wishes none of them had to leave Inaba at all.

“Chie…could you, uh…” Yukiko says quietly.

Chie blinks.

It’s been a while since she asked for that.

“Oh, uh. Sure,” she says, and shuffles forward to wrap her arms around Yukiko’s waist, cuddling close to her back.

 

Chie feels as though she has a weird dream, about herself in a black hakama and Yukiko in an uchikake, walking around the Amagi Inn, Yosuke following behind holding a parasol over both of them. Kanji’s plucking away a tune on a shamisen, and Souji’s trying to find rooms for some unexpected guests, a very large family of cats.

And then she’s in a blue room, with a man with a long nose, and he’s crooning something about her destiny, about the choices she makes changing the path of more fates than her own. Subtly, but significantly. Chie doesn’t understand, she wants to ask the man what he means.

But then Teddie wakes her up with a scream of ‘Breakfast time!’, throwing himself on top of both of them, and the strange blue room disappears.


	6. November

**November 2nd**

“This isn’t your usual training style,” Souji says, looking at all the print-outs Chie has splayed all over the table. There’s print-outs from the National Police Agency, about how to sign up, from universities around Tokyo and Osaka on different courses, all the careers leaflets the student counsellor sent her away with.

“It’s still training! And…I dunno, it feels like something you’d be able to help me out with,” she says, looking down at all the pieces of paper, all the different images and clippings. A million different routes her life could take after high school, if she chose any of them.

“I’ll do my best,” he says, nodding and sitting next to her under the gazebo. They chat over the options, Souji carefully going through all the details in turn with his usual meticulousness.

After what feels like hours, and Chie edging closer to a mental breakdown, Souji runs off to the Shopping District to grab them some snacks from Shiroku, returning with a mountain of candy, some sodas, and some treats for the cats that hang around the river. Chie is constantly amazed how all Souji needs to do is sit in one place for a while, and cats just begin to appear.

She tears open a box of cookies and stuffs one in her mouth, not caring that she’s scattering crumbs all over her notes. Souji winces and pulls a tissue from his pocket to mop them up.

“Rrgh, this is so hard! I mean, I think maybe the police is the best option. Catching bad guys, protecting the innocent, but…I don’t know, they’ve been so useless with our investigation, haven’t they?” she says, and then remembers about Dojima, “Oh, um, no offense.”

Souji waves a hand.

“It’s okay,” he says, “Though I think you’d be a good police for.”

“Mm, but, they’re hard to work for, aren’t they? It sounds like Dojima-san is barely home, and Naoto-kun…” she trails off, wondering if she would face the same issues Naoto does in the force.

“Hm…a job that lets you help people. What about social work?” Souji says, tapping on a brochure for one of the universities.

“Urgh, I don’t think I’d have the brains or the patience for that,” she says, “That sounds more like something _you’d_ be good at.”

He hums.

“Maybe. I like kids,” he says vaguely.

“Huh, come to think of it, what _do_ you want to do after high school?” she asks, suddenly realising that while she assumed Souji has a plan, she has absolutely no idea what that is. In fact, despite how much time they all spend with Souji, he never really says too much about himself. They always just kind of assume things about him.

“Not sure yet,” he says.

“Wait, what? You don’t know?” she says, “I mean, _you_ don’t know? You? Of all people?”

He shrugs.

“Wow, I mean…you’re always so together, I assumed you had it all worked out!” she says, trying not to goggle at him. He fidgets in his seat, scratching the back of his neck.

“Well, if my parents ask, I do, and I’m going to law school,” he says, with a wry smile, “Probably abroad.”

“Studying abroad, huh? I mean…that could be pretty cool, right?” she says dreamily. He looks at her for a second, a little sad.

“I’m not so sure,” he says quietly, scratching the cat closest to him behind the ears.

Chie clears her throat and changes the subject, returning to the print-outs. Souji nods and focuses his attention on talking Chie through all the different careers she may be able to go into.

She isn’t sure how, with so many options, she still can’t find anything that fits.

 

**November 5th**

No.

No no no.

Chie can’t believe the killer would stoop as low as to target a kid.

And why did it have to be Nanako? They should have paid more attention to those threatening letters. They should have caught the killer long before now. They shouldn’t have left it until their leader was dragged to the police station, and Nanako left alone.

She’s already gone from Dojima’s house by the time Naoto rushes there. Chie turns, and starts to run towards the police station instead, the rain whipping her face.

For however much Chie has been training, it doesn’t feel like she’s anywhere near fast enough.

 

Dojima always seemed untouchable to Chie. She doesn’t know him well, but he always seemed like a cool, gruff detective, right from a novel. She never thought he’d be put in the hospital by all this.

Kanji paces up and down the hospital hallway, his face drawn, his breathing quick. Yosuke leans against the wall, his hands in tight fists by his sides. Rise sits, trembling all over, but something determined in her face, beneath her frail body. Yukiko sits beside her, her eyes closed.

Chie just keeps her gaze fixed on the door to Dojima’s hospital room.

It feels like an age until it opens, and Naoto and Souji step out. Yosuke leaps upright, and both Yukiko and Rise get to their feet.

Souji looks so pale, but he’s steady and determined, and it makes Chie want to be strong too.

 

**November 6th**

Heaven is so unlike the other places they’ve been to in the TV world. Yukiko’s castle was so dark, the hallways so narrow, Chie always felt as though the walls were getting tighter and tighter the longer you spent there. Kanji’s bathhouse was so hot you could barely breathe, leaving you gasping, soaked with sweat. The striptease had been a headache, thumping music and flashing lights and dizzying corridors, looping around and around in lurid shades of pink. Naoto’s secret base had been all clattering noise, like running around in the machinery of some enormous robot.

Nanako’s Heaven though, it was gentle. It was calm, and soothing. Chie isn’t surprised – Nanako was such a gentle girl, it was no surprise that the inside of her mind was beautiful.

She hopes, after all this, she’s going to be able to stay good and kind. This is the kind of trauma that can change a kid forever.

Tomoe is thrumming in her chest, stronger than she’s felt in a long time. She isn’t going to let Nanako die in here.

 

With both Nanako and Namatame inside the TV, and with their Personas growing so strong, the Shadows inside Heaven are huge and brutal. More than once, Chie is tossed to the floor, only surviving because one of her team-mates leap in to protect them. More than once, Chie does the same for them.

They’re stronger than they’ve ever been, more determined than they’ve ever been, but they’re being worn down. The Shadows show no sign of slowing, coming in greater and greater numbers, with more of them resisting their magic.

 

“Keep going,” Souji says, picking himself up off the floor after one brutal battle. He crushes a card in his hands, and casts a paltry Mediarama on them, the magic shaky and frantic against Chie’s skin.

“We need to keep going,” he says, and Chie has to wonder if he’s even slept.

 

He’s cycling through Personae so rapidly, Chie can barely keep up. He can move through them quickly, when he needs to, but she’s never seen switch so often. He flickers between one to the other, his movements getting faster and slower, the swings of his sword sometimes like bringing down a mallet, other times as though he was flourishing a foil.

He’s growing frantic, and the fast he moves through his Personae, the more he stumbles, the more he gets hit, the more his orders become chaotic and confused, and they’re all being dragged down by it.

 

“Partner, look out!”

Souji barely has time to look up before Yosuke rams into him, knocking him aside and taking the brunt of a Minotaur’s charge, which sends him flying to the floor. Although Yosuke returns to his feet, the Minotaur isn’t interested, and returns his attention to Souji, already bleeding badly and covered in bruises.

Souji picks up his sword, his hands shaking, and charges for the Minotaur.

“Senpai, the hell do you think you’re doing!” Kanji barks, and slams into him, knocking him away from an attack. He seizes the Minotaur by the horns, holding it in place. Chie and Yukiko rush forward, and both cast spells at the same time, catching the Minotaur in the crux of a blizzard and a wildfire. It bellows and bursts apart, and Kanji drops to his knees, breathing in and out.

“I was fine,” Souji snaps, trying to stumble to his feet and then dropping again. Kanji stands up and stalks over to her, furious.

“Like hell you were, that thing might’ve killed ya!” Kanji shouts.

“Right…well, thank you,” Souji replies, standing up, leaning on his sword to keep himself upright, “Let’s keep going.”

“Keep going?” Kanji repeats. Yosuke comes to stand beside him his gaze critical.

 “You can’t be serious, partner,” he says, arms folded.

“If we keep pushing on, we should be able to get to Nanako soon,” Souji replies.

“If we keep pushing on, one of us is going to drop dead. We should retreat for today,” Yosuke says, holding onto his side. Souji turns away from him.

“Yukiko, could you cast another Mediarahan, please?” Souji says, as though Yosuke didn’t even say anything.

“I – I can try, but…” Yukiko says, trailing off. Chie can tell she’s running out of energy – she always starts to go quiet when her magic’s running low.

“Wow, dude, don’t just ignore me,” Yosuke says, tugging on Souji’s arm, “Look, we’re all worried about Nanako-chan –“

“So then why are you so keen to head back already!” Souji snarls, and Chie exchanges a bewildered glance with Yukiko. Neither of them have ever heard Souji raise his voice like that. None of them have.

“It’s been _hours._ We’re exhausted,” Yosuke says, his voice calm and even, “The fog won’t come tomorrow. If we go rest tonight, we can come back tomorrow.”

“This isn’t like last time! It isn’t just Nanako here, there’s _that man_ here, and who knows what –“ Souji’s voice cracks, and he breathes in, “Nanako’s not staying here any longer than she needs to. She’s only a little kid, she’s _scared_ , and –“

“And what is she gonna do if her big bro gets himself killed in here!” Yosuke responds.

“Who _cares_!” Souji snaps, so viciously they all jump, “If I get killed, you guys just go the rest of the way!”

“What – what the hell do you mean who _cares_!”

Chie and the others look between one another, eyes wide. While, as a group, they bicker and can argue a lot, none of them have ever heard Souji and Yosuke argue before.

“Guys!” Chie interrupts, as loudly as she dares, breathing hard. They look at her, and Chie breathes in, “Look, we’re wasting time standing around arguing! Let’s just keep going.”

“Chie, you can’t be serious!” Yosuke snaps.

“Stop it, all of you!” Yukiko says, so fiercely they all fall silent, “Yosuke-kun is right. We need to rest.”

“We’re the only ones who can save Nanako-chan, senpai,” Rise’s voice says, “If we get too hurt to continue…then…”

Souji looks as though he’s going to argue, a frantic, cornered expression on his face that Chie has never seen before. Chie wants to argue too – if she fails to protect Nanako, she doesn’t know what she’ll do – but then see the way Yukiko is looking at her.

“Souji, come on,” Yosuke says quietly, resting a hand on Souji’s shoulder.

Finally, Souji relents, his shoulders slumping. As much as Chie hates to admit it herself, they aren’t going to finish this today.

“Right. Get us out of here, Teddie.”

 

Junes is already closed when they return from the TV, all leaning on one another, trying to catch their breath. Yosuke long ago copied them keys to get them out of the building if they spent too long in the TV world.

Souji is silent, his shoulders hunched. Before any of them can say anything, he stalks off, shoulders shaking.

“Yosuke-kun,” Yukiko says, nudging him and then nodding towards Souji. He looks at her for a moment, surprised, and then runs off after Souji. Chie watches them go, Yosuke resting a hand on his shoulder and talking continuously.

They follow, letting themselves out of Junes, sure to lock the doors behind them. Teddie would come in in the morning to wipe the security footage.

Chie stands looking at the night sky, not sure what to do. How can she sleep? She could go for a run, do some extra training by the river bed? She needs to get stronger. She and Tomoe need to –

“Chie.”

A hand slips into hers, and she turns her head to see Yukiko standing by her side, their shoulders pressing together.

“Do you want to come back to the inn for the night?”

She nods, and lets Yukiko lead her home.

 

**November 7th**

They don’t get much sleep.

It reminds Chie of what it was like when Yukiko had been kidnapped. The way she tossed and turned at night, her stomach buzzing and her head full of static, dozing off just to be snapped awake with the image of Yukiko hanging by her foot from a telephone wire, her hair swinging back and forth and her pearly skin ashen grey.

Before she can stop herself, she finds herself telling Yukiko as much. It’s not a good thing to say, not right now, not with Nanako’s fate looming over them, but Yukiko just turns and bundles her up in her arms, pressing her close.

 

_How’s he doing yosuke?_

_got sum food in him last nite n he got a few hours sleep._  
never seen him like that b4  
hes better this morning tho  
wants us 2 go in the tv again after school  
(yeah of COURSE he still wants 2 go 2 school wtf)

_Yeah, sounds like Souji.  
We’ll finish this 2day._

 

Kunino-sagiri is the cruelest battle they’ve faced so far. Although the Shadows they’ve faced have always been brutal, both in terms of their attacks, and in their sniping words, none of them have actively forced them to fight each other before.

The feeling of being turned into a puppet, of striking Souji when she knows he’s at one of his lowest points, but powerless to prevent it – it’s something that Chie is not going to be able to forget.

Despite all of this, they tear the Shadow apart, and bring Nanako home.

Chie is ready to celebrate as they emerge into the fluorescent lights of Junes, and then she catches a glimpse of Nanako.

She’s so still in Souji’s arms, her breathing so shallow.

There’s no way it’s over yet.

 

Chie is beginning to understand why Kanji hates hospitals. The waiting, tense like somebody’s going to come up to you any second, give you the worst news you could possibly hear, is awful. And all they can talk about is all the ways they messed up, all the little ways in which they could have charged through to Nanako faster, got her home sooner, as though any of that was within their grasp.

Souji doesn’t even look as though he’s listening.

“Alright, enough of this pity party,” Kanji snaps, “Is standing around and whining really what we oughta be doing now? Feeling pathetic, consoling each other…that gonna solve anything? We gotta believe in her!”

They all look at him, and then at Souji, who bites his lip for a second, and then seems to come to some decision.

“Kanji’s right. We just have to believe in Nanako,” Souji says, his voice steady, but Chie can’t help but notice he’s gripping Yosuke’s wrist very hard.

“Right!” Chie says, bright as she can, “And when Nanako-chan’s out of the hospital, what we should do to celebrate?”

“Ooh, how about we reserve Junes and have a party there?” Yukiko says, picking up Chie’s hint.

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Yosuke says, with a slightly exaggerated eye-roll, but it works, they all begin talking about their plans for when Nanako gets better, and Chie sure that she sees the burden on Souji’s shoulders lighten, if only by a fraction.

 

**November 18th**

They all decide, in an unspoken way, to take turns staying over at Souji’s house. He seems outwardly fine now – answering questions in class as precisely as ever, busying himself with classwork and his after-school clubs, and running bizarre errands in town. Yet they can’t help but worry.

Yosuke, however, seems to spend more nights there than the rest of them.

He can’t, however, evade his job or Teddie forever, so Chie finds herself turning up on the doorstep ‘just because she was passing’, with take-out from Aiya ‘because they had an offer on’.

If the lies are transparent, Souji plays along with them, and welcomes her in.

The Dojima household is neat and tidy as ever – if anything, it looks even cleaner than usual. Chie supposes that Souji is the nervous cleaner type.

“Okay, I got us noodles, beef, rice, all the good stuff, and lots of it,” Chie says, unpacking the Aiya boxes, and then she notices all the pieces of plastic, the bottles of glue, and the reams of paper on the dinner table. She blinks.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

“Oh…making a model robot,” he says, showing her his glue-covered hands.

Well. There was another blow to Rise’s image of Souji.

“You know, you are full of surprises,” she says, raising an eyebrow. Souji shrugs, unconcerned, and breezes by her to wash his hands at the sink.

They eat in silence, just watching the latest episode of Souji’s drama. Chie still has no idea what’s happening in it, and she doubts Souji is paying any attention at all, but it’s better than just complete silence.

“Have you figured out what you want to do yet?” he says, suddenly. Chie jerks around to look at him, noodles hanging out of her mouth. She slurps them up and wipes her lips with her sleeve.

“Huh?”

“After high school,” he explains.

“Um. Well, not really,” she says, “I know I want to help and protect people. And I’d like to see different places. So…I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it much, since, you know…”

Souji hums and crosses to the kitchen. He puts his take-out box into the bin, wiping his hands clean. He sits down by the table, returning to his weird model. It looks sort of like the kind of thing they saw in Naoto’s secret base.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about it since, and I think social work sounds good,” he says, “Though…I don’t know…whether my parents would approve…”

Chie smiles.

“Well, I think you’d be good at that.”

“Has Yukiko thought about it since?”

What was this coming from? Was this how Souji made himself feel better, fussing over other people?

Well, if that was what he needs, Chie supposes she can’t really refuse.

“Oh…um,” she says, “I think she is, but I don’t think she knows for sure what she wants yet.”

“Will it affect what you choose to do?” he asks, doing something very fiddly with the wings of his mech.

“Uuuh.”

Yes? No? Both?

“I want it to.”

Souji looks at her, one eyebrow raised. She feels her face flush.

“I mean, if Yukiko wants us to organise stuff together then – then that’s what we’ll do. But if she doesn’t, I’m not gonna let it hold me back,” she says, “But you know, _ideally_ , I’d want us to plan that kind of thing together.”

There’s something about saying it aloud that makes her feel stronger. Tomoe thrums in her chest, and despite everything she feels more together and vibrant than she has since she first emerged.

“Even if I don’t know what I want to do, specifically…I know I want to use what I have to protect people important to me,” she says, and then looks at him, “Ha, you know, that always just used to be Yukiko, but it’s way beyond that now. It’s her, and you, and little Nanako-chan, and everyone.”

Something becomes lighter inside her, and she feels Tomoe shatter and reform, coming together to form something larger and brighter than before.

Suzuka Gongen settles around her, her strength radiating in her chest.

“Huh…is this…a new Persona?” she mutters, and then smiles, sheepishly, “I guess I got a little stronger at last, huh?”

Souji looks at her oddly, head tilted to one side.

“You do all the time,” he says, and then adds, “You should tell Yukiko. What you just said about planning your lives together.”

“A-ah, sheesh, you’re making it sound like we’re going to get married,” she splutters, flushing, but then relaxes, adding, “You know what, when this is all over, I think I will.”

 

**November 21st**

“Nanako-chan still looked so weak,” Yukiko says, as they walk out of the hospital.

“But she’s recovering. That’s good!” Chie says. Although she can’t shake what the doctor said out of her head – the fog covering Inaba, how strange it was, the amount of people becoming sick with it. It sounds crazy, but the things they’ve been through are crazier.

“You’re right…” Yukiko says, breathing out, “Though, it’s hard not to worry. We don’t know what the effects of being in the TV are on someone so little.”

Chie looks at her, thinks of what she said to Souji those few days ago.

It’s not the time. Not with Nanako still in the hospital, hanging on by a thread, and the fog sitting so thick and noxious on all of Inaba.

“We’ll keep visiting her as long as it takes for her to get better,” she says, and then glances around. The streets are deserted – most people staying indoors from their fears about the fog. After a moment’s thought, Chie reaches across and takes Yukiko’s hand.

Yukiko glances at her, eyes widening, and then relaxes and squeezes her hand back.

They walk like that, through the fog, until they finally arrive home.


	7. December

**December 3rd**

Chie’s not sure she’s ever going to get used to the way bad news hits. On TV, and in movies, whenever something awful happens, there’s always so much build-up, the audience is there the whole time, leaning into this death scene. Yet there’s never anything like that in real life. It hurtles at you out of the blue, smashing its way in the middle of a conversation, half-way through a laugh, in a moment that you thought would go uninterrupted.

She feels stupid. It feels embarrassing, shameful that she had spent the day in Junes, helping Souji pick out a kotatsu, arguing with Yosuke, wishing she felt safe to hold Yukiko’s hand, when Nanako was fading away.

“How can this happen,” Yukiko says, as Kanji smashes his fist into a wall, and Rise collapses into tears. Souji looks like a lost little boy, standing there with his wide and his expression impassive, not saying anything, not having anything to say. Chie can’t blame him.

“I don’t know,” Chie says, because she doesn’t understand. She’d become so certain Nanako would come out of this place smiling.

So when they learn Namatame’s still in the hospital, that the charges won’t stick no matter what the police try, it does feel like there’s only one option.

In any movie, when the law fails, the heroes would strike out against the evildoer any way they could, right?

Looking at the man cowering before them, in a hospital gown, his eyes wide and his cheeks sallow, Chie’s resolve crumbles. This doesn’t look like a villain in a movie. This looks like a real person, someone scared and confused and desperate, and she feels certain they’ve missed something. How can this be the kind of person who would kill a little girl?

Yet his real self on the TV…that did look like the kind of villain who needed to be stopped at all costs.

Then again, Chie’s Shadow had as well. So had so many of their Shadows.

Her head spins.

“All we have to do is push him inside the TV…that’s it,” Yosuke says, and then takes another breath, shaking from head to toe, “That’s it. We do this one thing, and this is all over.”

“J-just…push him inside…?” Chie repeats.

She hates to admit it, but it sounds so easy.

It’s foul that a man like Namatame can go free when a little girl like Nanako dies. What kind of world works like that? She doesn’t want to live in a place like that. And they can fix that now.

“What do you think we should do, partner?” Yosuke says, looking up at Souji, one hand gripping the back of Namatame’s hospital gown.

“We can’t do this,” Chie says, looking at Namatame sobbing, loathsome and pathetic, but hell, he’s still a _person_.

“I agree…” Yukiko says quietly, “I don’t want us to become killers ourselves.”

“What are you guys saying! Bastard’s gonna keep killin’ people if we don’t do something now!” Kanji shouts.

“Wait a second,” Souji says hoarsely, and they realise it’s the first thing that he’s said since emerging from Nanako’s room. Yosuke looks at him, his breath heavy.

“Yeah?” he says, and there’s a look in his face that’s almost pleading. Chie can’t tell if he’s pleading Souji to call a stop to this, or to give the order to carry it out.

“There’s something we’re missing…”

“Missing? Partner, there’s _nothing_ missing here!” Yosuke shouts, “This bastard killed senpai, he killed Nanako-chan! He’s going to _keep_ killing people, unless we do something.”

“Yosuke, something’s not right about this, it doesn’t add up,” Souji says.

“What doesn’t add up! How the hell are you so calm!” Yosuke snaps, “Listen, are we doing this or not, because that’s all I care about right now!”

“Calm down!” Souji shouts, his voice cracking, “Listen…I’m not calm, okay, I’m not. But we need to think. You told me to calm down and not get carried away back in the TV, didn’t you? This is the same thing. If we do this now, we can’t take it back.”

Yosuke presses his lips into a thin line, and then sighs, releasing Namatame. Namatame flops to the ground, his hands over his head.

“Right, you’re right,” Yosuke says, “Sorry.”

Souji shakes his head, waving his apology away. Kanji breathes out, pushing a hand through his hair.

“Can’t take it back, right, you’re right, senpai, dangit,” he mutters.

“Oh thank God,” Chie says, “For a second I…I really thought we were going to go through with it.”

“Yeah,” Kanji says, and then adds, “Good job Souji-senpai and Yosuke-senpai are so good at calming each other down. I mean, I was ready to throw the bastard into the TV myself just there...”

“Let’s step outside and review the facts,” Naoto says, “Adachi-san will undoubtedly have some awkward questions if he finds us in here.”

Adachi is lingering outside as they exit, but before he can say anything, the nurse rushes up and calls for them.

 

Seeing Nanako breathing again, with Yukiko crying messily into her jacket, Chie can’t hold it together either. She buries her face in Yukiko’s hair and sobs.

 

**December 4th**

Just when they’re so sure they’ve tied all the loose ends away, the case becomes more complex than ever.

Staring up at the ceiling, Chie wishes she was smarter. She could fight Shadows, sure, but when it came to the investigation, piecing all the bits of the puzzle together, the others were ahead of her by light years.

Now, the revelation that Namatame had nothing to do with Ms Yamano, or with Saki Konishi at all…Chie doesn’t know what to think.

She knows they’re meant to go look for clue tomorrow, but she can’t imagine she’d be much help. Maybe she should just ask Souji if she can go in the TV and crack some heads – she has a feeling there’s one big, final fight on the horizon.

Her phone buzzes on her bedside table.

 _From: Yukiko Amagi_  
Let’s meet up early tomorrow and give it our all for the case.  
Someone around town must know something!  
I feel like I may need a partner for it though…

_Wat, we gonna do a good cop bad cop thing?_

_Maybe._

Alright, maybe she was more capable of doing this than she thought.

 

**December 7th**

Adachi fleeing into the TV, the fog that refuses to lift from Inaba, Teddie’s disappearance and reappearance, it’s all so crazy. She’s sure the Chie of a few months ago would be overwhelmed. She could imagine herself insisting they charge through the fog in the TV to Adachi, or crying, or throwing a tantrum. The last place she ever wanted to go again, was that creepy room with the posters and the scarf that scared her so badly all those months ago.

Yet when they turned up outside the door to Ms Yamano’s nightmare, Teddie insistent that Adachi was inside, Chie doesn’t flinch. She stands up tall, and feels Suzuku Gongen stand with her.

When Adachi talks about the _bitches_ he pushed into the TV, about the way they betrayed him without knowing it, what he tried to do to Ms Yamano, what he _maybe_ did to Saki Konishi, Chie seethes, but she holds her ground. They need the truth, and they need it from the horse’s mouth. She isn’t just going to charge ahead recklessly any more.

Adachi fades away, leaving a tear in the wall for them to walk through, and a challenge for them to fulfil.

They have the end of the year to close the case and save the town.

She doesn’t doubt they’ll do it, but glancing at Yukiko, Chie can’t help but think how they may only have until the end of the year left in general.

She resolves to tie everything together before the end of year. No matter how hard it may be to say.

 

**December 11th**

Sunday morning, sore from fighting in Magatsu Inaba until well into the night last night, Chie does not expect to be woken up so early. As her phone rattles by her bed, Yukiko lets out a pathetic little groan and tugs her covers over her head.

_From: Yosuke Hanamura  
u free 2day? need to talk 2 u bout something_

Chie frowns.

_Talk to me? Y???_

_dont wanna do it thru txt. u free or not??_

She _had_ been kind of hoping to spend the day with Yukiko, and finally work up the courage to…to…to what? Confess?

That sounds so lame, she thinks. Was it a confession if Yukiko was bound to already know? What was it then, a confrontation? Facing up to Yukiko and demanding for an answer on whether or not she felt the same, to the same extent, or whether their weird relationship was all just experimentation?

Chie suddenly realises that she has not through this through. At all.

Oh God. Okay, retreating and regrouping with Yosuke for today might not be the worst idea in the world.

_Yeah ok, but u pay for lunch._

_wot a surprise_

 

Yosuke is already sitting at the picnic table at Souzai Daigaku when Chie arrives, tapping his feet to some music on his headphones, drumming his fingers on the table. As always, he looks way underdressed for how bitterly cold it is. She can always tell Souji is dying for him to put on a scarf or something whenever he seems him wandering out in the December chill in a paper-thin hoodie.

“Hey,” she says, stuffing her own earphones in her pocket, “What you listening to?”

“Oh, uh,” he says, and pulls his headphones off and rests them around his neck, “Wild Flag.”

“Okay, you know, I don’t get how a guy who listens to that much English music can still be so lousy at English,” she says, sitting opposite him, “I mean, how do you even find music when you can’t even ask where the bathroom is?”

“Hey, look, I know enough to copy-and-paste band names from the NME website, okay?” he says, “And I don’t hear you complaining when I let you leech off my collection.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she says, rolling her eyes, “So are you going to buy me some steak or what?”

Yosuke makes a big show of being long-suffering, but he gets up and buys some steak skewers, croquettes and sodas for both of them. As Chie tucks in, he settles back down in his seat, his hands gripping his elbows, his leg still bouncing up and down.

Whatever’s eating him must just be more than the usual ‘someone might die if they don’t use their magic powers to beat the hell out of the physical manifestation of somebody’s more private fears and desires’ stuff, Chie thinks.

Possibly, it was a Souji thing. Or a gay thing. Or some combination of the above.

Sometimes, Chie wonders if maybe their priorities are out of whack.

“Um, are you okay?” Chie says, when Yosuke fails to immediately blurt out whatever he was worried about, “You seem a little tense. And I’m thinking you didn’t call me out here to just buy me steak.”

“Right…” he says, “Um, well. I guess I have something I want to ask you.”

“Dude, if you’re about to confess to me, I am seriously going to scream and run.”

“What, ew, no, Chie! What the hell!” Yosuke says, face scrunching up, “And wow, is that really how you’d turn a guy down? Harsh.”

“It’s how I’d turn _you_ down,” she says, and then grins, stuffing a croquette into her mouth, “If it was any other guy I’d be a lot nicer about it.”

“Wow. Thanks.”

“No problem,” she said, and swallows her food, “So what _do_ you wanna talk about?”

“Right,” Yosuke says, rubbing his forehead with the tips of his fingers, “It’s about Adachi.”

“Oh. Him.”

“Yeah. Him,” he says, and pauses, for a long time, before slowly asking, “Didn’t you think the stuff he was saying sounded…familiar?”

Chie looks at him blankly.

“If you mean he sounded like a Shadow…” she says slowly, “Then, yeah, it was pretty familiar. Worse than usual, I think though.”

He winces.

“I mean it sounded like _me_ , Chie!” he snaps, and then looks down at the table, tapping his fingers against his arm, “Sheesh.”

“Yosuke…”

“Listen. All that stuff about wanting a little excitement in life…feeling put-upon for getting stuck in the boonies, and then getting all excited when he discovered he had powers just because it’d be _interesting_. Sure, Adachi decided to be the bad guy, but, hey, like he said, is that any better than me getting all excited to play the hero?” he says, and Chie can’t help but feel he’s been thinking about this since their first trip into Magatsu Inaba. He sounds as though if he doesn’t get it all out, he’ll explode.

“Even the way he talked about Saki-senpai! Like she owed him something just for being kind of nice to her, even though he barely _knew_ her. Is that really any different from the way I acted? I – I knew her at work for so long, but I didn’t know anything about her. I didn’t even know she couldn’t stand me, and I still –“ he says, and swallows, “Even that whole dopey happy-go-lucky act of his is…”

Chie’s not sure what she expected, exactly, but it wasn’t this.

“It was kind of like seeing my Shadow again,” he says, “Or, I don’t know, the kind of asshole I could have grown up to be if it wasn’t for…well. You know.”

He trails off, twisting his headphone wire around his fingers.

She wishes she could just lie and say ‘No, Yosuke, that sounds nothing like you! Hahaha!’, or come up with something comforting like Souji would.

“Well, um, I see your point,” she says, “I mean, you’ve acted like kind of a creep in the past.”

“Don’t remind me,” he mutters.

“But don’t you think you’re getting kind of worked up?” he says, “And how come you’re asking me anyway? Isn’t this the kind of thing you talk about with Souji?+”

“Partner’s got enough on his mind without dealing with more of my crap,” he says, “Besides, he’s my best friend, but you’ve been my friend a lot longer. Ha…I mean, you’re pretty much my oldest friend.”

“Huh?” Chie says, “What do you mean? What about all those too-cool-for-us friends from the city?”

Yosuke cringes.

“Oh. Um. Right,” she says, looking down at her hands, “Yikes. Sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter. Looking back, they were all kind of jerks anyway,” he says, and then sighs, “Look, you’ve known me longest, so do you think I was really like that? Could I have ended up someone like _him_? And – and have I changed? I mean really changed, deep down, not just made a big speech about how I was _going_ to change and then not doing anything about it.”

He looks desperate.

Chie really wishes she’d been given some prep time for this. Or that Souzai Daigaku had bathrooms she could rush off to and called Yukiko or Souji from.

She shoves a piece of steak into her mouth, chewing it as slowly and as thoroughly as she possibly. She swallows. Takes a swig of soda. Yosuke begins to look very irritated.

“Um, right,” she says, wiping her mouth, “Well, um, in order: yes, I don’t think so but I dunno maybe, yes, and…I guess?”

“You…guess? Well thanks, Chie, I was worried you were going to be _vague_ about it or something,” Yosuke replies, scowling.

“Well I don’t know, Yosuke! I mean, you’re talking about it as though there’s just this straightforward person you are, this true self deep down, underneath everything else, and – and I dunno! Haven’t we spent this entire year figuring out that people have a lot of different sides to them?” she says, flustered, “I mean, maybe there’s not really a deep down for me to comment on?”

“Urgh, well if there’s no true self, guess both us can be straight, huh?” Yosuke mutters, barely audible, his arms folded over his chest, and then looks up at her, “What do you say - should we just admit defeat and date each other?”

“Argh! That’s different! It’s – it’s – you love being difficult, don’t you?” she splutters.

“A little bit, yeah.”

“Don’t you wink at me,” she growls. Sighing, she twists around to toss her empty can into the recycling bin behind her, before returning her attention to Yosuke, “Look, I just, I don’t know, Yosuke. You can be kind of a jerk. Sometimes you get all freaked out about your own issues, and you take it out on your friends. You don’t mean it, but it’s still, you know, it still pisses me off.”

“You know, Souji says you’ve been trying to figure out what to do after high school lately. You _really_ should turn that sensitive disposition of yours to teaching or something.”

Chie glowers at him, and wonders how mad Souji would be if she Galactic Punt-ed Yosuke into the stratosphere.

“Do you want my opinion or not?” she says. He falls silent, probably thinking of the state of his nads. She shakes her head and continues, “But, look, you’ve…you’ve been working on it. And it’s not like the rest of us don’t have our issues to work through too.”

Oh, did they ever.

Yosuke hums, sucking hips lips together, expression pensive. Chie suddenly remembers something he mentioned a long while back.

“Did you ever apologise to Kanji-kun?”

“Did you ever talk to Yukiko-san?” he snaps, very very quickly. Quickly enough he can tell that Yosuke hasn’t as much as broached the topic with Kanji.

“That’s neither here nor there! I’m working on it!” she says, and then calms down, “It’s just hard to find the right moment, y’know?”

“Ha. Yeah.”

“Though…Yosuke, you realise we might be running out of time to do that kind of thing, right?” she says.

“Huh?”

“Remember what Adachi said about ‘the end of the year’? About how the TV world is leaking into ours?”

“Chie, c’mon,” he says, “You can’t take what that bastard says seriously. And even if it _was_ , we can fix it!”

“Yeah, but what if he’s serious? And what if we can’t stop it? If that’s the case…well, the next few weeks could be our last,” she says, “I don’t want to have any regrets. You shouldn’t either, Yosuke.”

“Urgh, you’re gonna be really pushy about this, aren’t you?” he says, wincing.

“Yep,” she says, beaming, “First, I think you should apologise to Kanji-kun…”

“Fine, fine, I guess he deserves that much,” he mutters, “…I did basically ask him if he was going to molest me in my sleep…”

“And!” Chie interrupts, holding up a finger, “You should tell Souji how you feel, too.”

“Woah, woah, wait, what? No way, not happening!” Yosuke protests.

“C’mooon. No matter what happens, he’s going back to the city in March. This might be your only chance!”

“My only chance to humiliate myself, maybe!”

“Aw, c’mon, you don’t know that,” she says, leaning over to prod him in the shoulder, “It’s worth a shot, right? Ooh, you guys could have a long-distance romance. Longing letters, sighing over each other’s picture, wistful phone calls into the night! And finally, after months of waiting, he comes back to you in Inaba and you throw yourself into his arms at the platform!”

“Not helping!” he says, his face beetroot, “And what about you, huh? Are you going to talk to Yukiko-san in the next, I dunno, century?”

“I told you, I’m working on it! I almost did it today before you texted me!”

“Wow. Well, you sure leapt at the chance to put it off, didn’t you?” Yosuke says, rolling his eyes.

“Uuurgh. Fine, you know what? Before Christmas, we _both_ do this.”

“Before Christmas?” Yosuke stutters, “Wait, seriously? That’s two weeks!”

“Yeah, that’s right. And if one of us doesn’t, they have to pay for the others lunches, _forever_ ,” she says, and then grins, “You know I have expensive tastes, Yosuke.”

“Oh come on! How are we meant to do this in two weeks!”

“You’ll work something out.”

“Okay, you know what, fine!” he says, and thrusts his hand forward. Chie takes it, shaking it firmly. “After I win, Chie, you’re gonna need a lot more cash so…I look forward to accepting your resume at Junes.”

“Ha. Please. With lunch on the line, I could win this by tomorrow.”

 

**December 12th**

Chie does not win this by tomorrow.

 

**December 13th**

Or the next day.

 

**December 14th**

Still no.

 

**December 15th**

You’re kidding, right?

 

**December 16th**

_From: Yosuke Hanamura  
we do not deserv kanji tatsumi_

_Well we all knew that._

 

**December 17th**

The TV World has always been exhausting. However, it’s never felt as though the world itself was actively pushing back against them. The Shadows, while they attacked, never seemed actively malicious, some aggressive, some always just seemed afraid. Chie’s always thought they more seemed like wild animals, defending their territory against unknown intruders, or hunting down prey to eat.

Yet Magatsu Inaba is different. Every part it is soaked with all of Adachi’s rage against the rest of the world, like a bratty kid throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get the shiny toy he wanted. The world twists around them as they try to plough through it. Adachi mocks them all the while, repeating the things they said to each other, the things they said to themselves, laughing, making them sound so _stupid._ Stupid for caring about people, stupid for wanting to help, stupid for wanting to be better versions of themselves, stupid for feeling anything at all.

They all wince, once or twice, because it’s hard not to. Impossible, maybe. But none of them fall apart.

None of them, after all they’ve been through, are about to let a guy like him make them feel small.

 

**December 19th**

_From: Souji Seta_  
I want to finish it tomorrow.  
All of you, please, do anything you need to today, and get lots of rest.  
Whatever he has waiting for us, it’s going to be big.

Chie looks at the screen, and then taps in Yukiko’s number.

“Hey, Yukiko. Want to skip class today?”

 

“It’s sort of a weird time of year to come to the beach, Chie.”

“Ha, it is. But I always think the beach is pretty in winter,” she says, “It’s quiet. The fog seems lighter here too.”

 It’s quite enough that they can hold hands without feeling nervous about it as well. Chie doesn’t say that part.

She reaches back and offers her hand to Yukiko, keeping each other as they descend the frosty steps to the beach, stumbling a little on the ice. Leaning against the wall, they tug off their shoes and tug down their tights, letting their bare feet fall on the sand.

Shichiri Beach is desolate, both from the winter chill snapping in Inaba, and the fog settling across the town. The horizon is blurred away, as though the dark sea just slides seamlessly into the grey sky. It’s maybe not the most romantic spot in the world, but it’s not like Chie has a lot of options. Everywhere is so gloomy lately, the streets empty of life and heavy with fog.

Yet, regardless of the weather, the sand feels soft between her toes, and the water laps against the shores. Seaweed gathers in twisted bunches at the edge of the water, and pale pink shells peek up out of the sand.

“Chie! Let’s have a walk in the water!” Yukiko says suddenly, tugging on her hand.

“Wait, Yukiko, it’ll be co-ooooh my God, that’s cold, that’s so cold!” she says, as Yukiko drags her into the sea. A shiver shakes her whole body as the frigid water laps over her bare toes. That’s awful, terrible, why did Chie think that was a good idea.

Yukiko, holding her skirt up with one hand and Chie’s hand with the other, looks at her, and grins at the look on Chie’s face.

“Pfft. Pbth. Haha. Oh, oh no. Ahahahaha! Chie! Your face! Ahahahahah!” she says, her whole body shaking with laughter, “Y-you looked so horrified! Ahahahaahaha!”

“Sheesh! My face can’t be that funny,” she snaps, though with no real anger.

“You – you’re supposed to be immune to ice! Ahahaha.”

“Ice _magic_ , Yukiko! I think that’s a little different from freezing cold sea-water!”

Yukiko only laughs hard, leaning against Chie’s shoulder.

“You’re such a weirdo…” she mutters, resting a hand on Yukiko’s back. Her hair presses against Chie’s nose, and she can smell her shampoo, and her perfume. Expensive stuff with names that Chie couldn’t even pronounce, the kind of stuff that Chie never saw the point in herself.

She likes the smell of it on Yukiko, though.

Finally, Yukiko’s giggling fit subsides. She doesn’t move away. Neither does Chie. She’s not exactly sure why – her feet are freezing, and it’s not exactly the most comfortable position, Yukiko bent down awkwardly to lean against her, having to keep her grip on her skirt to stop it getting wet, Chie leaning her cheek against the side of Yukiko’s head.

“We should get out of the water,” Chie says finally.

“Mm, yes. My feet are starting to hurt,” she says, “You…didn’t happen to bring a towel, did you?”

“Oh. Crap.”

 

They manage to buy a couple of small towels (with pictures of Precure characters on one, Featherman characters on the other) from a souvenir shop nearby.

At Yukiko’s insistence, they also buy a bucket and spade.

 

“It’s not a… _bad_ castle,” Chie says, trying to convince herself more than anything, “I mean, if you squint, you can kind of tell it’s a castle, right?”

The sad little flag they made from a scrap of seaweed and a twig begins to sag, and then the whole roof slides off in a tumble of damp sand.

Yukiko makes a funny little squeaking noise.

“It’s…it’s awful. Ahaha!”

“Oh, you, don’t start again!” Chie says, as Yukiko presses her hand over her mouth, slapping her knee, “It’s cold, Yukiko! Who ever heard of a championship sand castle being built in the cold?”

“Ahahahaha!”

“It was a cheap bucket!”

“Ahahahahahahaha!”

“For the last turret, you only gave it _two_ magic taps, not three! You should’ve _known_ that would have messed it up, Yukiko.”

“Ahahahahahahahahahaha!”

“Oh, honestly,” Chie says, and sighs, smiling at the ruins of their awful castle, “You are impossible, you know that.”

 “So-sorry,” Yukiko wheezes, “You just make me laugh way too often, Chie.”

“I’m…really not that funny,” she says, rubbing the back of her head.

“Well, I have a lot of fun with you,” Yukiko replies, calming down and smiling at Chie, her hands in her lap, gripping the plastic spade.

“That’s…good,” Chie manages, and then looks back out at the ocean.

She supposes it’s now or never.

If they’re descending into the last levels of Magatsu Inaba tomorrow, going up against whatever Adachi has waiting for them...well. As much Chie believes they’ll win, that they’ll drag Adachi into the real world and force him to face the consequences of what he did, and drive off the fog around Inaba for good, there’s always the tiniest chance they won’t.

Chie can’t risk that.

“Yukiko, uh,” she says, “I like girls.”

Yukiko looks at her.

“Only girls. In the way I _should_ like guys. And – and I don’t think I’m just going to grow out of it,” she says, and draws her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She’s admitted it before, out loud, but it still feels raw against her throat every time. She wonders if it’ll ever get easier to say.

“Oh,” Yukiko replies, “Well. Um. Me too.”

Chie’s eyes widen.

“Well, maybe not the _only_ part,” she says, chewing on her thumbnail, “I’m not sure. I think I sort liked Souji-kun for a while, after he rescued me?”

“What, a knight in shining armour thing?” Chie says, ignoring the embarrassing stab of jealousy in her gut.

“Urgh. I suppose…but,” she replies, and laughs, “He’s not exactly what you’d expect looking at him, is he? He’s not exactly the noble, suave prince you might think. It was a bit of a surprise.”

“Ha! I think Rise went through that too,” she says, “Kind of makes me feel grateful I always knew him as this goofy dude who cried when Teddie bit him.”

“He – he what?”

“Oh, I never told you about? He once put his hand through the TV in Junes, and Teddie bit him,” she replies, “The poor guy teared up right there in the electronics section.”

Yukiko snorts, biting hard on her lower lip, her shoulders shaking.

“Oh - oh no, poor Souji-kun.”

“Well, hey, it’s not like any of us are exactly what you’d expect looking at us!” Chie says, feeling like she should defend Souji’s dignity at least a _little_ after letting that embarrassing anecdote slip, “Yosuke seems like an airhead hipster, but he’s actually perceptive and kind. Kanji beats up biker gangs, but he’s a huge sweetheart. Naotos’s a big awkward geek, Teddie can get all sad and existential sometimes, and Rise’s got a real dark side to her…all of us have something.”

“Well, I suppose that’s true.”

“And you look like Yukiko the ice princess, but you’re funny, and goofy, and smart, and you’re a great friend – you’re really loyal and kind. But you’re also tough and you’re strong, and I wouldn’t _dare_ piss you off, and –“

Chie looks at Yukiko’s red face, and cuts herself off.

Wow, way to play it cool, Satonaka, she tells herself.

Well.

She practically confessed already, but…

She should say it properly.

She opens and closes her mouth.

Say it, say it, say it, at least for all the free meals from Yosuke, at most because she’s going to explode if she doesn’t, at more-than-most because it’s not totally hopeless that Yukiko feels the same way.

She gulps, wetting her lips.

Say it, say it, say it, say -

“Rise’s cute though, right? Hahaha.”

She is a complete idiot.

“Oh, I don’t know. She’s not really my type,” Yukiko replies, looking at her in a way that makes her feel as though she’s being pulled forward, her breath in her throat.

“Oh?”

“Mmmhm,” Yukiko hums, even closer now.

Chie is about to say something else, but Yukiko grabs her face in her hands and pushes her down into the sand, kissing as though she’s afraid she’ll never get the chance to do it again.

 

_U owe me lunch. 4ever._

_gdit i havnt lost yet! im workin on it NOW chie!!!_

_Den stop texting me and get back to it!_

Chie closes her phone and puts it aside as the bathroom door slides open.

“There’s still sand in my hair,” she says, running her fingers through her dark hair.

Yukiko forces a comb through her damp hair, scowling. Even though her shoes are still somehow full of sand, and her jacket will itch for days, Chie can’t find it in her to mind, exactly.

“There’s sand in your bed as well,” she comments, picking up a grain of yellow sand from the burgundy bedspread and flicking it across the room.

“The staff aren’t going to like that,” Yukiko says, scooping her hair up and wrapping a towel around it. Chie tries not to gawk at the pale lines of her arms, having firmed and grown muscled over their months battling in the TV. She sits down next to her on the bed, holding her towel up to her waist.

“Well, the bath’s all yours if you want one,” she says. Chie turns to face her, propping herself up on an arm.

“Um, maybe in a second.”

“Is…something wrong?” Yukiko says, looking at her tentatively, “I mean, was that –“

“No, no, I mean, that was great! Uh...wait, we’re done, right? How do you tell if you’re finished with two girls?”

Yukiko giggles, both hands over her mouth.

“Um, I think we just decide that ourselves,” she replies, blushing, “Is that your way of asking if I want to keep going?”

“No!” Chie splutters, and then clears her throat, “I mean, okay, uh, maybe later. But, there’s stuff I want to talk about with you first.”

“Oh,” Yukiko says, her voice growing more soft and distant, “Yes, I suppose we…really should.”

“Yukiko, I like you. A lot. I mean, _really_ like you,” she says, and she can’t help but think they’ve done this backwards.

“I – I know…” Yukiko says softly.

“Enough that I don’t want to hide it, or sweep it under the rug, or whatever!” she says, and reaches for Yukiko’s hand, holding it in the hope it would hide how badly she’s shaking, “I really want us to go for it.”

“Chie…”

“Look, I get if you don’t want to! We – it’s not the easiest option for you. I get that. I just want to know, and then. If you don’t. We can go do other things. But I can’t keep going like this, okay?” she says, “No matter what, I’m going to get out of this town and try stuff and learn new things while I figure out what I wanna do. Whether you stay or go or we’re together or not, or whatever. I’m not going to force you, but, well. I’d really, really like you to come with me.”

It’s not the most eloquent speech, even with Chie’s history of less-than-eloquent speeches, but it’s the best she can do. She looks at Yukiko, hardly daring to breathe.

Yukiko bites her lip, her expression pained.

“Chie, you’re right, this wouldn’t be an easy route for me to take.”

Damnit. Chie doesn’t want to cry. But just that much is enough to make her throat tighten horribly. She blinks.

“But…”

“Mm?”

“I really want to try,” she says, “And…well, okay, I don’t know whether I’m going to take the inn, in the long-term. But I’ve decided not to take it straight after high school.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. I’ve been thinking and, I feel if I stayed at the inn now, until taking over, then there’s so much I’d miss out on,” she says, looking at Chie and reaching out to touch her hair, “At the moment, I think I’ll go to college in the city. I’ll study business, and travel, and then if I’ll decide to take the inn or not. A manager who’s studied business and went to lots of different inns and hotels would be far more qualified for the position than a little girl who just inherited it, after all.”

“And, um, me?”

Yukiko laughs.

“Well, if I’m the manager, then nobody can tell me what’s appropriate or not. And if I’m not at the inn at all, then, who the hell cares?” she says, grinning wickedly.

Chie sits up, letting the covers slide off her, and pulls Yukiko into a hug.

Haraeda-no-Okami and Sumeo-Okami soar above them, and Chie knows with certainty that Adachi won’t win tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then Adachi gets the living shit kicked out of him by a bunch of angry gay kids.  
> As it should be.


End file.
